Winter Hits the Local News. Oh the horror.

Central Ohio has been cursed with warm, wonderful weather until recently. Highs in the 60's, low's in the 30's, some rain, and some sun, and some pleasantness. But, that changed, winter has come to visit. Not terrible winter, no polar vortex, no bone chilling, below zero, life force draining weather invasion, just a small dose of winter. We can take it.

But, it has been very hard on the local news broadcasts. "Team Coverage" of a light snow falling gently on a gradually waking city does not do much for ratings. They deserve some applause for effort, though.

One  intrepid reporter was sent north of the city, where there might have been a little more snow, marginally. He was lucky enough to find a shallow ditch in an abandoned field where undisturbed snow had peacefully accumulated to a noticeable level.

With the camera following his every move he waded bravely into the once pure snow, almost 2 inches high, and said breathlessly, "you can see the accumulation, as my tracks lead me back to the safety of the road." It made me realize how fortunate I was not to have to brave that snow covered field today. Oh, thank you kind hand of fate.

The meteorologist told us that it was only a light snow, and there would be several breaks, but, it would continue, on and off, lightly for most of the day, or at least until early afternoon. I'm praying that I get away.

Wet freeways, and a frantic traffic reporter caused general delays in the commute. "Even though the Department of Transportation has been clearing roads and spreading salt nonstop for the last two days, the snowfall has made the roads a little wet. So leave early, and drive slowly, inch along like you are walking on ice." And they did. Safety first, even before common sense.

There was another report from the Public School bus lot, where despite the seasonable cold, and light snow buses were running without delay, or even inconvenience (until reaching the freeway anyway). But I was making lunches, and did not hear how they were planning on dealing with the normalcy of the conditions. Which is alright, I am not that brave, anyway.

But, now I am safely at work, and hunkering down for a long day of watching the mild winter storm choke the life from the city I love, gently, slowly and only until early afternoon.

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And now for today's weather here in lovely downtown Piqua Ohio.

Spring has finally sprung in our small corner of the world. With temperatures in the low 50s and rain passing through it is time to think about prepping the garden spot for tomatoes.

Don't plant just yet. A cold front is moving through, and temperatures toward the end of the week will dip below freezing at night on Thursday and Friday.

But, next week it will rebound to highs in the sixties and lows in the fifties.

After a brutal winter it is time to move forward with a smile on our faces...

Wait, breaking news. This just in, it is only December, WTF???

Are you sure?

Friends, sources, well placed sources, speaking on the condition of anonymity, have assured me that it is only December, and putting away the snow shovels and tuning up the mower might be a little premature.

Over to Dan at the sports desk to talk about the Indians and the Reds, No, make that the Browns and the Bengals.

Dammit, why didn't somebody stop me? What do you mean my mic is still live....

Tomorrow is a new day, if we make it.

We are in the midst of the mid November Snow storm, an early variation of the polar vortex.  There was concern that this could be the end, so hauntingly depicted in the classic Doors so fittingly named The End;

"This is the end, beautiful friend,
This is the end, my only friend, the end
To our elaborate plans, the end,
To everything that stands, the end."

Thank you, Jim Morrison.

Local meteorologists were scrambling yesterday to find imagery raw, and terrifying enough to depict the coming apocalypse.  It was an afternoon spent warning people that we were in for a rough commute this morning, possibly heavy snow, and potentially, the end.

Stores were packed with combative, frightened shoppers, laying in supplies, bottled water, canned food, candles, batteries, ammunition (to shoot the roaming bands of looters, ravenous packs of timber wolves, and occasional polar bear), and bleach.  Why do they always buy bleach?  Some sort of bizarre need to keep whites white?  Nobody wants to face the end in a dingy, stained t-shirt.

This morning, stations were trampling all over the peaceful, virgin snow, each other, and poor slobs who just wanted to get to work, to bring you the latest, frightening video of snow falling, gently and lightly on a gas station parking lot somewhere south of town.  Local networks called every available reporter, and cameraman into work, for the "team coverage."  They were almost cruel in their capture and interrogation of motorists.

"What do you think of the snow, and driving to work in such hazardous, deadly conditions?"  The reporter asked, pointedly, accusingly, with a scornful, wicked smile.

"Well, people just need to slow down, you can't be in a big hurry."  The older gentleman, who looked as if he would never be in too big a hurry for anything, he was probably a grandfather, wearing a hand knitted stocking hat, and matching scarf, said softly, and politely, leaning into toward the microphone.  He probably did not want to inconvenience the reporter.

"So, you think slowing down, and being careful are enough to save us from the Snowpocalypse*?  Do you really think caution, and common sense will save us from this?"  The reporter asked savagely, with a sweeping, angry swing of his free hand to indicate the falling snow.  Since the older gentleman had moved closer to speak softly into the microphone the pronounced, emphatic arc of the reporters arm hit him right in the forehead and knocked him onto his back, in the new, wet, soft snow.

Thinking quickly, the dedicated journalist stepped over the prone, fallen older gentleman and interviewed someone who was coming out of the gas station with a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew, and a bag of powder sugar donuts.  He was "worried sick" about getting to work on time.  This made the reporter happy, and he patted the person on the back.

Of course, I could only watch so much, I had to get to work, and traffic was heavy, and slow, people were worried, and the freeway just inched along, but, I made it.   I hope you are safe, and warm, and somewhere with coffee, because I care about you, as a person.  Let me know if you had any problems, I will alert the stations.




* Snowpocalypse, much to my surprise, was not flagged as misspelled, neither was snownado.  It just struck me as odd.  Such is the evolution of English.

They always have to ruin it for everybody, don't they?

Another treacherous commute, sort of.

Last night the weather people on TV predicted a "wintry mix of rain, sleet and snow" for this morning.  In this part of the country that is meteorologist crack cocaine.  You can feel the excitement build as they talk about the potential rain, mixing with the potential snow, and falling on our city.  Excitement can overcome even a seasoned television weather person, causing them to swoon, and the sports guy will have to rush over and fan them with the sports page from the local paper he was using to write his report.  But, as excited as they find the possibilities it can make my morning drive less enjoyable.

Since, a decent "wintry mix" can throw traffic into chaos the safe bet was to wake early, check the morning traffic report, and adjust my schedule accordingly.  The first thing we saw was the weather.

Al, the morning weatherperson said it was raining, and showed, with the help of a full screen radar image, a large swath of rain clouds passing over the area, with some snow showers mixed in towards the end.  Clouds producing snow stand out because of color variation, and there was a small batch of lightly colored clouds following closely on the heels of the wide, traveling amoeba looking bunch of rain clouds.  But, it was enough, and Al was thrilled.  After his breathless presentation, he passed the screen time baton to Mona the traffic reporter.

"With all of the rain we have had over the last several hours traffic is really slow, here are images from around the metropolitan area."  Four images, almost identical from the cloudy, rain drop smeared lenses, covered the screen and she described, in detail, what each camera was showing.  "There are no accidents to report, yet," you could almost sense the sorrow in her voice, and she slumped a little, "but, you know with wet, hazardous roads like this it is only a matter of time.  And I will bring it to you as soon as it happens."  She perked up a little there, and passed the all important air time to Bob, the anchorman.



"We have a camera crew and Ken, the reporter, loaded and ready to roll, as soon as there is an accident," Bob said, a little breathless, and the television screen showed Ken, the reporter, and a camera crew waiting in a van, in the rain, ready to roll.

Bob talked about the coming election, and the levees on the ballot, moving quickly to results of the online poll conducted by the station, an overnight robbery, and a local dog named Fritz who climbed a tree to rescue his friend, a cat named Hans, which was kind of cool.

"And, back to the Storm Center, and Al.  Hey, Al, how about giving this rain the boot and gettin' us some sunshine?"  He joked.

Al talked about the rain, predicting it would be out of the area sometime in the morning and the sun would appear in the afternoon, "How about that, Bob?  Now on to Mona, at the Traffic Control Console."

Mona was trying hard to keep a positive demeanor, but her voice, quavering, belied her concern.  "Nothing to report so far, but, with wet, awful roads like this it is only a matter of minutes, and we are ready to bring you the news.  Right, Ken?"

Flash to Ken, standing in the rain, beside the van, right outside the station, "that's right, Mona.  We are just waiting to bring you the film from the first accident of the day."

Mona was back on the screen, promising to bring us reports of the first accident, which, she assured was coming quickly.

Another round of news and weather and we were back to Mona, who was beginning to show signs of desperation.  She was wringing her hands, and sweat was beginning to streak her makeup.

"Look, the roads are terrible, and we are going to have an accident, soon.  Why wait?  The first person to run their car into a pole gets this $10.00 gift card to "Bill's House of Good Coffee."  If you involve another car the good people at "Terri's Style Boutique" will throw in a cut and color.  Look, we all drive the same roads, and we all know how irritating it is when some fool cuts you off, like they are more important, their time is more valuable.  Today is the chance to show them.  Ram them hard enough to require a wrecker, and "Ted's Towing" will throw in dinner for two at "The Powder House Grill."  We are going to throw open the phone lines, and take bids, if you are interested in a morning crash, but don't like the gifts you see here, call in and make a request, we will do our best to make it happen.  No reasonable offer will be refused.  What other station can make that claim?"

I was going to hold out for a new TV, but duty called, I take my job seriously.  I never heard who won the lottery, but, I am sure it was a great prize, and a grand accident, and Ken did a superb job reporting.