Wednesday, It Isn't Weekend, But It Isn't Monday, Either.

Today is Wednesday, and that means something here at Life Explained. It means the week is half over, and we have put the bad days (Monday and Tuesday) behind us. Monday stinks, positively reeks, you are faced with the prospect of 5 grueling days of toil, and labor, with no hope of escape. Tuesday is Monday without all of the pleasant afterglow of the weekend, so Tuesday is pretty smelly as well. But, Wednesday, that is a different beast.

Wednesday, the antechamber to the weekend. On Wednesday the coffee is a little crisper, and the air is a little cleaner. If you look hard enough you can see the weekend "ship of liberty on them iron waves so bold and free"* steaming in to your rescue. We love Wednesday. Too bad it only comes once a week, and we have to suffer through the hardships of the early week to get there.

One fine day, as we were drinking the tasteless, tepid coffee of a Monday, and trying to choke down the bagels of an oppressive work week, Bob, from R and D burst into the kitchen. Shaking with an excitement not normally seen until at least noon on Thursday, he said "I have solved our early week issues!"

"I have taken the digital clock from the rec room, wired it to the reactor core in the sub basement, and ran the whole thing through the time clock. Every Monday when the clock hits 9:00 AM, the whole company will shift to Wednesday, at 11:00."

"Why Wednesday, and why 11:00 AM?" Someone asked. The question was sincere, but the happiness at the prospect of skipping Monday and Tuesday was noticeable in the voice.

"I chose Wednesday, so we could have time to plan for the weekend, and 11:00 so we would have time to plan for lunch." That made perfect sense.

Everybody started scurrying around to account for the important things, like cancelling any vacation requests they had for Monday or Tuesday. No point in wasting them. And the coffee was tasting smooth.

Time travel, even in short, repetitive bursts, is tricky. Have you ever recorded a macro in Excel and thought it was beautiful. Taking the contents of several scattered cells, summing them and placing the total in a separate sheet, adding a touch of formatting for flair, and then printing it out. Life would be so much easier. Only you forgot to click the little "relative cell reference" box. Every time you ran the macro it added the same numbers from the same cells, making you and your computer look like complete morons. Time Travel can be like that.

So Monday, at 9:00 we moved to Wednesday at 11:00 and feasted. Using all of the lunch money we had saved from Monday and Tuesday to really make pigs of ourselves.  Then on Thursday, at 9;00 we ended on Wednesday, (the day before, not the next week, we think) at 11:00! This really screwed up a lot of vacation plans.

So, we disabled the digital clock, and the time clock, and our big plans, and suffer through the painful, dreadful days of the start of the work week. We gave Bob a little bonus for trying, but revoked his rec room privileges, he cost us a digital clock, after al;t
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*From "Caribbean Wind" by Bob Dylan, Dr, Dawg says give it a listen.

Life, aging, and senses.

We, here at Life Explained, have made an amazing discovery. We have found the Fountain of Youth, well, it was not exactly the Fountain of Youth, it was a fountain, it was a fountain, and there was some young people milling around, so we got a little confused, and hopeful. It happens when you get older, you know. Man, did security show up fast when we jumped in and started dancing around. Particularly when Bob, from Legal started grabbing the loose change that someone had accidentally dropped in the bottom.  We haven't given up, but it might be more plausible to build it instead.

It is an engineering nightmare. How does a person get the water from the bottom of the well to cascade decoratively down from fantastic heights. No, not really, the hard part will be figuring out the "Youth" formula.

 It will take a dedicated team of brilliant scientists working around the clock. Not stopping for meals, or sleep. Tireless, and unrelenting, these geniuses will need to combat exhaustion, hunger, and unbelievable obstacles. Hey, somebody should run and get some coffees. But, we are pretty confident we can develop the serum.

Of course, we need to make sure it just stops aging. It would be foolish to start turning back the process. Imagine world leaders, corporate giants and elected officials acting like a bunch of spoiled children. Behaving petulantly, lashing out in angry tantrums, unconcerned with the good of the common man...

Maybe we will start working on that interstellar vehicle. The earth is in good hands.