New Glasses, maybe.

I think this is the weekend to shop for new glasses. It puts me in an awkward situation. I have four pair of glasses right now, and I really like them all. A situation that almost guarantees failure today.

The four pair of glasses have different shapes, are different sizes, colors, materials, and I like them all. Shopping for glasses is a terrible burden. I am fussy about glasses. Shapes, colors, size, all have to be right. I have bought glasses before that I didn't really like and it was like a curse putting them on every morning. They just didn't look right.

Size is important, because I wear bifocals, I get the lineless variety so nobody knows, and since I am going on and on about shapes and appearance there is no point in pretending vanity is not an issue.

It reminds me of a time when my oldest son was playing youth soccer, and I was standing with the other dads, trying to fit in. And one of them said. "My dad just got bifocals, he is really having trouble adjusting to them." Rookie, I thought. But, I kind of moved away, we didn't really have that much in common.

But, I will go and look, and maybe even get some new glasses. If I can find the right pair. My wife always thinks I should get two pair, she says I am hard on my glasses. It doubles my problems.

Getting glasses is cool, shopping for glasses is difficult. Adapt and overcome, that's what I say. Not really, whine and worry, that is much closer.  But, if I find some I will post my picture here if not I will post a picture of something else. Any suggestions?

Either way, expect a long, detailed account tomorrow. Sorry, it is just who I am.

My life, so far, this week.

We are eligible to upgrade our phones this month.  We are probably going to stay with our carrier, Verizon, and probably going to stay with iPhones.  Why not, we have apps that we know and use.  And I have a lot of money tied up in my apps. We are comfortable with the way the phones work, and we are happy with iPhones.

I know there are people who hate Apple, and I can live with that. And, I would never try to change your mind.  But, my phone does everything it should and often more than I expect.

As with most things, if we decide to upgrade I will be completely unprepared. Except for the few headlines about the benefits of the newest iPhone I am in the dark. It has a great camera, and makes calls, and is fast, and is cool. I have started reading about the iPhone8 already.

Technical jargon is wasted on me. I do a lot on my phone, I have written blog posts, made movies, compiled comic strips, but as far as computational abilities, processor speeds, refresh rates, don't bother. You might as well be speaking a foreign language, a dead foreign language. It's not that I don't care, well yes it is. I don't care enough to try to decipher the cryptic language of the technically skilled.

Sports is the same, I like sports, but I don't care about zone coverage, or blitz packages, or offensive sets. I don't want to work that hard. That is why I watch the game, for the vicarious thrill of competition. If my team loses I am more than comfortable blaming the officials, luck, fate or the gods of chance. "It wasn't because they weren't trying" is my motto.

Tuesday I had an appointment at the optometrist, or ophthalmologist, let's just say the "eye doctor" and it went well, and poorly, like most doctor's appointments. In the insanely appropriate words of The Grateful Dead, "every silver lining has a touch of grey." It started terribly, I had to put on a bulky pair of terrible looking glasses and find which circle in a string of three looked as though it was raised. There were ten rows, and only the first one had a noticeable difference.

"They all look the same except for the first one." I said, starting to panic. Why didn't I see the difference?

"OK, thank you," the polite young man replied.

Read the smallest line you can.

"Is that bad?' I asked, the room seemed to be getting darker. The corners were becoming rounded, blurred, everything was losing color.

"They're supposed to get increasingly difficult." He answered politely.

"Let me clean my glasses and I will try again." Everything was getting fuzzy, slipping in and out of
focus. I couldn't blink, my eyes stopped watering. What wasn't he telling me?

He sent me back to see the "eye doctor," who said my vision hadn't changed that much, My distance vision was slightly worse, but nothing to be concerned about.

That about covers my week. Stay tuned Here for exciting developments. I don't want to give away anything, but it will be great.

Have a nice weekend, or Thursday, or afternoon, or don't, I don't want to come across as all pushy, and demanding.

Until next time,

Tim

Wow, that was quite a day, He is so brave. #FixThePlus

Yesterday I took the plunge, I bought new glasses, actually I took the plunge twice, I bought a new pair of glasses and a new pair of sunglasses. Here is a photo with both.

Oh, and I did get a hair cut as well. Which means that I took the plunge three times. That is quite a day.

The glasses were on sale, buy one get one free, and it is hard to find glasses I really like (glasses with round frames). The sale ended yesterday. So despite having sacrificed so painfully getting a haircut I had to bolster myself and brave the opticians.

Digging deep I swaggered into the shop and looked at the glasses. A week ago I had my wife take pictures of me in four different frames, and I had spent seven days looking at each, weighing the merits of the various frames, asked my friends, family, and coworkers which they preferred.

By the time we arrived, strolled confidently in the shop I had it narrowed down to four frames. Dammit, which was best?!! Using brutal logic I picked the two you see under the unruly mop above.

We ordered the glasses and the weight of the day was crushing me, I was shaking and had trouble breathing, my vision was foggy, and I barely made it out alive.

My wife, my delicate little angel said, "Hey let's go to the shoe department at Macy's. It is so relaxing."

OK, do you mind if I wait here, under the car, where it is safe?

But, I have a new haircut, and will have new, round glasses in seven to ten days, so it was all worth it, maybe.

New glasses, I see how that would help

Tomorrow is going to be a big day. I am going to pick out new glasses. Getting new glasses is almost like stepping into a new reality. It changes everything.

It is important to pick the right glasses, though. It has to be something flattering, comfortable, and completely unlike the last pair. It changes the way the world sees a person. You can almost become a whole new person. A fresh start. Who doesn't love that.

And since I am pretty hard on my glasses it changes the way I look at the world. Wow, look how crisp and clean everything looks, not blurry with lines, and imperfections. Who knew lines were so sharp, what a brave new world.

A dramatization, not representative of real sight.

It is vital that glasses compliment your appearance. There are few things worse than walking around for a whole year looking like a big dork. Trust me, the meek may inherit the Earth, but they have no use for a goofball with glasses that do not enhance his appearance.

Most times I have some idea. This year is a mystery, wire frames, plastic, who knows, the suspense is killing me.

Since I wear lineless bifocals that limits my choices a little, but I like bigger glasses anyway. It is easier to see things without moving my head around like an owl.

Plus, shopping is always an adventure. And this close to the Holidays it can be life threatening. There are so many things we need to do once we leave the house, we go crazy. Let's stop and pick up a new blender, and maybe some jeans, and a shirt, and we should grab something to fix for dinner.  We are like parolees gone mad with the intoxication of freedom.

So, after a good breakfast, strong coffee, and a silent prayer for strength and safety it is off to find the perfect pair of specs. I will have a full report with pictures, and maybe even a shot of the elusive perfect pair of glasses.