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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Coffee again, but this time it is on ice.

Recently, I have developed a taste for iced coffee.  Delicious, sugary, creamy iced coffee.  It took a while to get the correct blend, but it is almost perfect now.  Where I work they keep the creamer in a sugar dispenser, and that is not conducive to great iced coffee, it comes out too slowly, and it is difficult to gauge, and in iced coffee precision is everything.  A pinch of this, a touch of that, a dash of the other, that may work for great vichyssoise but it has no place in iced coffee science.  You need a spoonful, and the best way to get that is right from the container.

So, being the take no prisoner type, I dove right in and grabbed the plastic can looking thing (I am not sure what it should be called, it is not quite big enough to be a bucket, but, somehow it seems wrong to call something plastic a can, and it is not shaped correctly to be a bottle, why is life so hard?) and a spoon, and went about the business of iced coffee production.

I drank part of this before I thought a picture might be
a good idea, but there is ice and coffee, so you can tell
I know from whence I speak.
That was a mistake.  Right there on the label, in big, bold letters, "Non Dairy," "Gluten Free," "Lactose Free."  What is this stuff.  They are so happy telling me what it isn't, Dairy, and what it doesn't have Gluten and Lactose, why are they are not so keen to let me in on what it is.

Maybe it is ground up gypsum board.  It didn't say anything anywhere about being "Plaster Free."  Which to my thinking is a little more important than a bit of dairy, gluten or lactose.  It might be the stuff you use to make concrete, because it said nothing about being "Lime Free."

Well, iced coffee is still pretty good, and if you can look past the potentially lethal side effects of the white, powdery stuff it is a great way to start your work day.  But, when I order one at a restaurant I am going to ask for extra lactose and gluten, and reduced plaster, just to be safe.