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Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Some Days are Worse Than Others.

Some days start simply enough, some are more complicated, some just don't ever quite take off. Today is somewhere south of uncomfortable, but just north of painful. It is not too hot, but not cool, kind of clammy but not too humid. It was a slightly sub average day right from the start.

Breakfast was lukewarm oatmeal with soggy granola scattered haphazardly across the top. It seemed to spell out DUM if that is possible. My coffee had grounds, and tasted like tepid garbage.

When I got to work Delores from accounting was waiting to demand answers about a trip to Chicago that I didn't take, in fact I've never been there. Fortunately her inquisition was cut short by an explosion in the parking garage.

People were running down the street, being chased by a monster that had escaped from the blackest pit when the gas line ruptured and tore the floor off the sub basement in the structure. Delores was distracted by the harrowing scene outside as the hideous beast threw cars and buses carelessly across the street.

We stood, Delores and I, transfixed by the carnage and destruction. It was awful. Several units of national guard setup on the corner of 4th and Vine and opened fire. Even behind the glass on the fifth floor the sound of gunfire was overwhelming.

It was slowing the beast down, but it looked bleak for our intrepid guardsmen. They stood their ground valiantly as the demon closed on their position, The rate of fire multiplied but it did not look good.

Suddenly a helicopter gunship flew in from the rising sun and unleashed a hail of air to surface missiles blowing the monster into little pieces, completely covering Bob's Cart O' Breakfast Burritos in smoking flesh. It was an amazing sequence of events.

Delores turned to me and waved a folder in front of my face and said, "I know you went to Chicago, you little Sh#ta$$!" And stormed off.

Doctor Dawg walked by and said "Try to do something about our bandwidth, would you? This is just stupidly slow."

Man, will this day never end?