There comes a time when life chase you down and tackles you from behind. Often, this happens just when you feel as though you have hit the corner, and the tight end of daily duty has held his block long enough for you to cut upfield and run down the sidelines towards the end zone of success and just as you are about ready to cross the goal line for the touchdown of easy, carefree living, and bam you are smashed down on the one yard line of pain and suffering by the free safety of responsibility... Oops, sorry about that, football season is coming, and I am kind of excited.
With this advice in mind, I am going to change the light fixture in the bathroom today, a dangerous, difficult undertaking involving, at the very least, a screw driver, a wrench, probably and a lethal electrical current. Ok, so you don't need a wrench, but you need two types of screwdrivers.
Here is the good part, because of the unique properties of electricity this light fixture, (an LED, EnergyStar model) could, at any moment, go from a rousing feat of successful home improvement, a small victory for the common man, to a sparking, sizzling, self destructing kamikaze, burning your house to ground any time, day or night. It becomes a time bomb, just waiting on the edge of consciousness, constantly gnawing at the corners of your mind, poking you in your sleep, forcing you to rush home after work, to make sure your house has not been razed by your technical prowess.
Well, I am off, tools, tape, and confidence in hand, if you never see me again, tell Coach Riley to win a championship for me. and tell the Academy I will not be available to accept the Oscar next year, what the heck, call the Pulitzer people, the Publishers Clearing House people, the Nobel people, and the Heisman Award people, and tell them to call my wife, who shamed me into this act of self destruction, is to blame.
Hey, that is the end of today's episode, tune in tomorrow when we discuss installing a new shower head, or scalding yourself right before you drown.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Wars In The Home
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.