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Sunday, September 21, 2014

Football, so good we need two.

Mike Raven, curator of The Blog of Thog. and I are going to try to sway public opinion, convincing everybody in the whole world, or at least the very wise portion that read blogs, particularly the geniuses who read our blogs that one brand of football is better than the other.  I am speaking for the American Brand of Football, and +Mike Raven will be representing the rest of the world.

American Football is so advanced because the entire country is filled with experts.  Every Saturday and Sunday, in millions of homes across this huge country, and in select military bases and bastions of civilization, around the world people are screaming instructions, and helpful advice at television sets.

We all know, deep inside, the officials, who have been hand picked from the ranks of the lower levels of competition, have trained for years and continue training and education year around, and are trying to make snap decisions regarding barely visible potential infractions are so biased they should end the charade and wear the other teams colors.  It is amazing our team can ever win a game the way the refs stack the odds against them.

Off we go, beer and pizza, and back to the game.  And it is obvious this coach that our university, city or state has mortgaged its soul to lure to our team is an idiot.  Sure, he can diagram plays that look like hieroglyphics, understands complex systems and schemes, and can speak at length about defenses and the best way to attack them.  Yes, he has won at every level, and brought home numerous championships.  But, now he seems to be slipping into dementia.  What an idiot.

Back to the kitchen for chicken wings, a few beers, maybe some nachos.  You know what mystifies the average American Football fan?  The way these athletes, who have trained, and conditioned since they were little children, and have managed to become the greatest football players in the world can be so incompetent.  The average fans grandmother could throw a better pass than that, and she is in a wheelchair, and has never even thrown a football.

So, as you can see, Mr. Raven, American Football is superior because the entire country is filled with experts. More honest than the refs, smarter than the coaches and more talented than the players.  With all of that ability in one country what else would you expect?



Thank you,

America