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Sunday, November 16, 2014

Winter Wonderland, I Wonder Why It Is Here So Early.

Sunday, cold, dreary, and forbidding.  Yesterday, not too bad, tomorrow will be worse, maybe.  Apparently there is a big storm heading our way, rain, snow, bitter cold, which, according to SixOnYourSide meteorologist Phil Kelly, is traveling right along the I-70 corridor (a strip of concrete, running mostly east and west that cuts Ohio roughly in half), storming down the freeway.  Unfortunately, we live, and work, just north of the well traveled freeway.

It is very unfortunate the storm did not choose to take Interstate 80 which runs in an east and west direction far north of us.  Research into storm behavior indicates a general reluctance by arctic storm systems to pay the exorbitant tolls on certain Interstate Highway systems.  The NOAA believes this may be the main cause of Lake Effect Snow.  Storms roll through Chicago, spending all of the spare change in the glove compartment, and they get to the area in northern Ohio, containing Toledo, and Cleveland, and run out of money to go farther.  It is what they call the "Grapes Of Wrath" syndrome.  The National Weather Service remains unconvinced.  They feel pretty certain that the recent improvements in The Rust Belt makes it such a nice place to visit that storms are loath to leave.

Of course, that is no consolation to us right now, with a winter storm bearing down on us, no stop signs, traffic lights, or roundabouts to slow it down.  Curse you efficient, convenient Modern Highways.

But, we here at Life Explained, (#lifeexplained) have come up with an elegant, easy, inexpensive solution.  We should just put up a detour sign right at the I-70 and I-75 interchange in Dayton.  "Interstate 70 closed east of Dayton, Local Traffic Only, Please Take I-75 South to Lexington then I-64 to Charleston, and I-79 tou to Pittsburgh."  Take that John Calipari!

It will not take long to print and erect a sign, but, with the shortsighted, narrow minded, self absorbed state government, obsessed with infighting, and the gathering and hording of wealth and completely unconcerned with the welfare of the citizens, it will never happen.  So we might as well grab the snow shovels, schnapps, stocking hats, gloves and thermal clothing, it is going to be a long winter.