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Monday, December 8, 2014

Fantasy Football, A Dream Season.

My cousin, Mike, (in our family we call him Handsome Mike) sent me a poster with the Nebraska basketball schedule, it was a very nice gesture.  In a way, he kind of owed me.  He sent one to me earlier, but, in typical fashion for my family (we think we are so funny) he addressed it to my wife, who kept it.  She is a big fan of the team, and the coach, and, in typical fashion for my wife, likes to do things that will irritate me (she thinks she is so funny).  But, now I have my own, and can look up the next game with impunity.  "Oh, did you notice, we play the Hoosiers next Tuesday?"  I can ask.  I say we, to signal solidarity, my wife, the team, and me.  I am sure they say the same thing.

Earlier this year, my cousin, Adorable Mike, asked me if I wanted to participate in a fantasy football league, I said sure, sign me up. This is not my first rodeo, or at least not my first attempt at fantasy football, anyway, I've never been in a rodeo.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I know one end of a horse from another, but would just as soon stay away from both ends, the one that kicks, and the end that bites.  Plus, there are all those flies hanging around stables, and where there are flies there are spiders.
All in all, it is just a good idea to stay away from farm animals, dangerous things.  And don't even get me started on the smell...  oops.

Anyway, I agreed to join Mike's league, thinking this time it would be different, I would pour my heart and soul into studying the choices, and draft a good team.  Every week would be an opportunity to prove myself, my ability to locate talent overlooked by others, my unique eye for the undiscovered.  I picked a cool name, the Demons, and went on a scouting trip, time to find some talent.

Then, it hit me, I don't know anything about the NFL, its players, or the teams.  So, I started looking into things.  At some point the league had changed, almost radically.  Now there is a North and South division in each conference and the central divisions are gone.  When did that happen?  Why wasn't I informed?

Plus, fantasy football is a real task.  I am not sure how it works, but it seems that the performance of the players on your team are graded against expectations, and a numerical value is assigned according to degree of success.  Then all of these scores are added together and that is how each game is scored.  I think.  Every week is the arduous, time consuming, painstaking task of looking at how each player is predicted to perform, and trading for those whose odds of overachieving are the greatest.  I think.  That does sound like fun!!!

My cousin, Mike the Striking told me that the Demons are in the playoffs.  I suppose it is time to get serious about finding the right balance for the long haul to the championship.  Unfortunately, I don't remember my user name or password.

Don't forget to tune in next week to find out how we did.  Bring your own confetti, I think there will be a big party.