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Friday, January 30, 2015

Caveat Emptor, Buyer Beware, yes, that is very good.  Truth in advertising is so important, it is impossible to make an informed decision lacking important details.  Consumers have the right to all of the information available to the seller.  It seems self evident.

Imagine my shock visiting a Lasik center recently.  Turns out "Laser Eye" surgery does not actually mean installing "Laser Eyes" at all.  It seems people actually pay to have lasers shot into their eyes, just so they don't have to wear to glasses.  Go figure.  That would have been a handy thing to know, saving me the cost of an office visit.  Plus, they don't even validate.

Cologne, perfume, those are the things that need a little more honesty.  "Some people may find this odor offensive, particularly if you slop it on, and then go the gym, sweat may activate repulsion waves.  Please use sparingly.  Discontinue use and shower if friends and family avoid being in the same room with you."  Humanity would be well served.

Automobiles could use a little reality, as well.  "If you buy this car because you see someone driving it ridiculously, recklessly fast, and think it will fill some void in your life, or help you get dates, you are probably delusional, and should buy a compact car, using the savings to expand your horizons, true happiness comes from within.  Fulfillment is rarely delivered on 4 wheels.  When you are more comfortable with yourself you will be more comfortable with other people.  And, other people with you."

Fast food should come with the advisory text "artist rendition, food will not look like this when served, wrapped tightly in wax paper, by an angry, resentful, employee, who dislikes you.  Hamburger not made with real ham, or burger, cheese burger not made with real cheese, french fries not from France."

"Caution:  This medicine could result in the formation
of a robot in your stomach.  Please tell your doctor if you
have a robot in your stomach, or have been to any
areas with certain fungal infections, including
stomach robots."
Sometimes though, honesty in advertising goes a little too far.  Prescription medicine carries warnings that are too graphic.  "This medicine designed to reduce your blood pressure has the potential to make you so miserable, and the suffering so intense, you will long for the days when hypertension seemed like a problem.  Tell your doctor if you are having symptoms of any illness."  That would probably be enough.  My doctor can write a prescription without all of the awful, potential problems, saves a ton of time.

Medical advertising has changed, there was a time that advertisements for products that involved issues unique to the fairer sex seemed so obnoxious.  That was before the discovery of medicine to help with issues unique to middle aged men, they could probably give that stuff away if it weren't for the television commercial expense.

We need more honesty, but we need less truth, if that makes any sense.