Spring is in the air, the bicycle has been on its maiden voyage, the NCAA tournament is underway. The flowers are starting to poke their heads out from the thawing ground. It is a wonderful time of the year, warming, but not hot. No snow to shovel, no lawn to mow. Ah, the joys of spring.
Tonight there will be steaks on the grill. Cooking things over open flame bridges the gap to a more masculine past (I know that the flames will have died long before we cook the steaks, but there is fire, to start). Plus, having steaks is probably the most masculine of meals. It is a serving of untrammeled macho, slapped on a plate, right after it popped and sizzled over red hot embers on a dangerously hot grill with a two pronged fork, which has one purpose, to spear meat.
A serrated knife saws the meat into bite sized pieces, sitting in a natural symbiosis beside a steaming hot baked potato covered in melting butter, sour cream, maybe some shredded cheddar, and you have a meal right from man's ancient, primitive past. Yes, the animal may have reduced to a manageable size by a third party facilitator, but it is still just a big piece of, more or less, unprocessed food cut right from the side of history, cooked over unregulated heat from smoking, popping wood products. Just like early man would have wanted it.
It really makes a man want to howl at the moon, sleep under the stars, abandon all the girly pretense that modern life has forced on him. He can, for a moment abandon the automobile, emails, text messages,smart phones, tablet computers, and all of the namby pamby, facebook updates, tweets, and online wimpy crap. He is one with the past. He is history. He has become Man.
Of course, the potatoes will be heated in the microwave, but it seems obvious that even cro-magnon man would have welcomed a way to warm food that was quick, easy and relatively inexpensive. Early man was not without some mental resources after all.
Plus, butter, and sour cream, that is a lot of dairy fat, nobody should subject their arteries to that sort of abuse. Maybe a light sprinkling of extra virgin olive oil, and a touch of sea salt, and a sprinkle of thyme, that would add flavor without breaking the diet wide open. Who needs all of those calories?
Since dietary fiber is so important a side of kale, and a few pomegranate seeds, oh my, that would be heavenly. A nice glass of Pinot Noir, or maybe a nice cup of Earl Gray, with a splash of honey, it will be like heaven.
Really, red meat is not the healthiest way to get protein, maybe a Chilean Sea Bass would be the way to go, grilled on a hardwood plank, served on fine china, with a side of...
Anyway, spring is here, and everybody should enjoy themselves, no matter what they prefer. Now, I am off to watch a some basketball, and have a snack, any suggestions?
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Spring, the manly season.
Labels: barbecue, butter, calories, dairy fat, diet, embers, fire, grilling, masculine, meat, sea bass, spear, steak
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.