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Saturday, August 8, 2015

Dreams, food, and shoes. that about covers it.

We, here at Life Explained, are developing a machine to capture and interpret dreams. Using patented technologies that are so complicated, so technologically intensive we could never hope to explain the process. We were lucky to actually construct the silly thing. It was really kind of an accident. Dr. Dawg fell asleep with the remote and his Chardonnay spilled onto the DVR button, and his stethoscope got tangled up with the cable running to the WiFi router.

When we thought we were going to watch the news in the morning we ended up with a long, drawn out series of food, from scrambled eggs, bacon and toast to prime rib, potatoes au gratin, and apple pie a la mode.

We all sat there, stunned at the delicious parade of food that was cascading across the screen. People were scrambling for the refrigerator, or their phones to order something to eat.

Dr. Dawg said "Hey, those are my dreams from last night. How did they end up on television. And, would somebody find a county fair and get me some corn dogs?"

It only took us a few minutes to figure out what had happened. We were thrilled. This was the breakthrough we had been waiting for!

We jumped, immediately, into action, after getting something to eat. We wired up some diodes, a few sensors, and some wires and stuff, and got to work. Most difficult was writing the program to decode the hidden meaning buried deep in the vivid imagery that construct dreams. 

It didn't take long to figure it out, it was built in the classic C++ language.  Using the standard translation of constant comparison, and evaluation. Everything revolved a central core, with a standard for deviation, and symbolic reference. 

People couldn't wait, every associate signed up and we had to use a lottery to choose the order.

Turns out everybody, man, woman, dawg, all dream about the same things. Finding the right pair of shoes. Turns out that was drove most of the innovation throughout the history of man. You just can't be happy if your feet hurt, and if your shoes are comfortable, you don't really need much. 

Now that we know we can move onto more important things, maybe lunch.