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Sunday, August 30, 2015

Water, You Have No Power Over Me, sort of

People who know me will tell you that I hate boats!  Being on a boat is one of my worst nightmares, number three, I think, but the list is not handy so there is no way to be sure. I think it goes

1. Flying
2. Spiders
3. Water

But, I am working from memory, so that may not be ironclad. Premature burial has to be in there somewhere. And, I know being accidentally poisoned by a hard drinking pharmacist going through a painful, expensive divorce is pretty high, too. Maybe I should just go get the list... Wait, that isn't what I am here to talk about today.

I am here to tell you about my latest search. We are buying a canoe, or maybe a tandem kayak. Wait, you are thinking, isn't a canoe, or a kayak a boat, you are demanding, rather rudely I might add.

Technically, yes they are boats. But, they are well behaved, dignified boats. Gliding with silent grace across the water, working symbiotically with humanity in a wonderful dance, almost ballet. Plus they are a great source of exercise, and I have always enjoyed canoeing.  I can't explain the difference.  It is there, though. Better left to philosophers.

Plus, there is no "captain" wearing a brand new coat of Jack Daniels bravado wanting to "open 'er up, and show you what she can do." Then insisting that if you tried water skiing you would love water skiing. Right until I end up sleeping with the fishes, or even worse being eaten by the Lake Watusi version of Nessie.

So, I am off today, in search of the perfect transportation. Anybody with any information regarding the relative merits of a kayak vs. a canoe please leave them in the comments.