It is no secret that I like to grill. Taking flame, heat, smoke, seasonings, raw food and deftly combining them into a masterpiece of sizzling, tempting delight is the ultimate test of modern manliness.
You know, I should take up hunting. That would be the apex of masculinity, Killing something, and preparing it for your family. Stalking the wild meal, climbing silently through the thick, tangled, matted underbrush looking for the opportunity to take down the perfectly marbled beef brisket. Man, that would be the pinnacle.
Poor, foolish, unsuspecting tribe of wild baby back ribs would scatter as I come crashing mightily out of the forest, armed with nothing but Pampered Chef Grilling Tongs, (dishwasher safe with a patented locking mechanism) and a dry rub made of paprika, chili powder, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and a touch of dried cayenne.
I would be the king of the jungle, as I stalk the wild rib eye. You know, we should be careful, there are a lot of snakes out in the bush. Big snakes looking to make a name for themselves by bagging a chef.
Don't forget the spiders, silent, deadly, the perfect killing machine. Eight legged angels of death, we have to keep an eye open for them. I read about a guy in Dayton who rolled his car down the side of the ditch in an effort to kill a spider. Apparently, according to eye witness reports he was trying to set the car on fire, a popular way to defend yourself against spider attacks, when he lost control and rolled into the middle of the field. Police are still trying to find the spider.
Maybe I will just go to the store, Or better yet send my wife to the store, that place is like a class reunion for the hospital for the criminally insane. I will make sure the grill is ready for cooking.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Grilling, Cooking For Men, Real Men.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.