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Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Life Explained Explains Management for Dummies, and Idiots.

Last week was very busy. I had barely survived my encounter with a vacation on the Atlantic Ocean, and I came back to work hoping to recover. Put my feet up, enjoy a pleasant cup of coffee and a few glasses of iced water. Maybe starting planning my escape from next years "vacation." Ah, to be home again.

But, some fool went and put one of our products on the magic box. And all hell broke loose. Here I was hobbled from my vacation, and work blows up, right in my face. Here I am, still recovering from my harrowing escape, and  buried under a mountain of commercial success so terrible it almost makes me hope for the Christmas rush. Somehow, we survive, must have been my superior people skills.

Saturday comes, and goes, the weekend fades into a happy memory, and a Monday commute filled with the promise of an easy week. A chance to recover from vacation, and the post vacation madness. Coffee, feet up, and time to catch up on all the things missing from my life.

But, a phone call snaps me from my pleasant stupor.

"Hello Tim, this is (insert employee name here). I fell walking out of the bank on Saturday, I missed the curb and fell to the ground. I broke my arm."

"What? What! You did what!?!?! Don't you people ever think of me?"

So, this week is going to be marginally better, maybe. I am once again off to feed the machine. Fuel the economy, and toil tirelessly to keep people stocked with delightful, thoughtful decorative yet useful household designer items.

Keep me in your thoughts, and hope for the best. If I am not back in three days send out a search party, with bourbon.  And, remember, always think of your coworkers and superiors before scheduling bone fractures. We are all in this together. Though you couldn't tell it by my life.