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Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Safety in Numbers, If Arnold and John are there

Last weekend I watched 2012 and End of Days. Two movies about potential civilization ending disasters. Both with different origins, different approaches, and different endings.

2012 was about the Mayan prediction of a great change in that year. Some people claimed it would be the apocalypse, others said it might have to do with Hostess' decision to stop making Twinkies.  I'm not really sure. In the movie John Cusack used his wits, sparkling personality, charm, and connections to con his way on to one of the modern day arks designed and built to save mankind.

When I was growing up all the kids in my school were fascinated by the European 7. I wasn't really sure why they all thought this was so cool. And I had no idea why the Europeans had to add a line to their seven. My sister and brother-in-law lived in Germany at the time. So, I asked them, and they said that it was because they used the symbol we use for 7 to represent the number 4.

Which leads me to believe that if the Europeans who are not so different than the Americans had to use a different 4, and a different 7, who knows what the ancient Mayans had going on. Maybe they used a metric system for the passage of time, and God knows nobody in the United States would ever be able to figure that out, not even John Cusack. Or, perhaps, they (the ancient Mayans, not the Europeans) did not take leap year into account. A quick calculation, where I take the period in which the ancient Mayans lived, and subtract that number from the present year, and divide that number by four, and then add that total to 2012, which would... no, I need to take the number and divide it by 365 for total days in the year and then add that... Look, it doesn't matter, maybe the ancient Mayans didn't actually mean 2012, maybe they meant 2019. My point is don't assume things are going to all right. Until I can find a Mayan and get to the bottom of this. Best bet is to keep close track of John Cusack.

End of Days was about the biblical prediction of the apocalypse, I believe it was in the book of Revelation, Arnold Schwarzenegger foiled the plot. Or maybe it wasn't quite so cut and dry, because I don't really remember a lot of the symbolism from what I had always been taught was the final chapter. Either way it pitted the Terminator against the Prince of Darkness with the fate of the world in the balance, I think, Looking back, I'm not really sure they ever claimed the world would end. But, the implication was there. Of course Arnold won, and we all breathed a great sigh of relief, even though we would have bet on him. Remember what he did to the Predator.

For now, though the world is safe, we have lowered the Life Explained Threat Level to Boring Brown, which we all know is PMS-4655 (or PMS-4715, those things are almost impossible to read) on the Pantone scale. And indicates you can safely go about your life.