Root for the Other Team.

Last weekend the Nebraska Cornhuskers played the Bethune Cookman Wildcats in football. The game was in Lincoln NE. Nebraska's first game against Akron was cancelled because of weather. I don't really know much about Bethune Cookman, but it seems they are a small college and they took the game because it offered a nice paycheck and a chance to play in front of big crowd. They weren't expected to win. They didn't. They played hard, and never gave up.

I read in interview with Wildcats running back Alfred Adams, a young man that played as hard as anybody on the field. Someone asked him about the crowd and the way they cheered for Bethune Cookman. 

"I was confused. I didn't understand why at first, I didn't know if they were fake or us or what. But, soon I realized they were just encouraging us and it was love because we didn't have any fans here so it was love the whole game."  Adams said. 

I thought about that for quite a while, and it is true Cornhusker fans, after losing the first 6 games of the season and ten in a row, were hungry for something to cheer about. But, I remembered a story that Mac Brown had told on television.

He was coaching the Texas Longhorns and they had beaten Nebraska, in Lincoln to snap a home winning streak that went back several seasons. It was around fifty games in length. Ricky Williams, the Longhorns running back was unstoppable that day. If he couldn't run around someone he ran over the top of them. It seemed like he carried the ball on every play and had about a thousand yards. He left defenders laying all over the field looking as if they needed triage.

ABC interviewed Brown and Williams on the field, asking all the usual questions and getting all the normal answers. "Thank God, my linemen, the coaches..."  I thought, you should thank the defense, they just boosted your Heisman hopes.

"I told Ricky to put on his helmet, people would be throwing things at us when we ran to the tunnel." Brown said. But, something amazing, to him, anyway happened. The crowd gave Ricky Williams a standing ovation. He had played well, and deserved respect.

I thought about those incidents this weekend. Rooting for the other team once in a while is a good practice. We have more in common than we realize. You can learn a lot about life from a football game.

Perfect Call, Jim

There is a disturbing trend on televised college football games. More than just one, really, but for today we are going to ignore the win at all costs, including the millions paid to coaches, the gaudy excess of modern stadiums, the shameless, underhanded ways schools violate NCAA rules, the sickening pandering of the press and officials toward the elite among the sport, the ridiculous amount of time spent training children to win, no matter what. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the ridiculous way coaching contracts are written. These people are hired, paid millions, adored, praised, lavished with gifts to win games. And then when they don’t win enough games schools are forced to either fire them and pay the remainder of the contract or pretend they are there to promote education and citizenship and manufacture some artificial outrage to fire them for “lack of institutional control.”  When was the last time a guy coming off a championship season got the axe for “lack of institutional control.” Give me a break...

Well, we might not ignore them completely.

What I am here to talk about today is the instant replay official who shows up on the screen to discuss the calls being viewed by the instant replay official who is off screen and working hard to make the right call. 

What really bothers me is the way he agrees completely with whatever call was made. I understand the difficulties faced by officials, referees, umpires, trying to make the right decision in a violent, fast paced game. And I assume most times they get it right, and when they don’t they are only human, the reason they instituted the instant replay review.

Most times they probably get that right, and if they don’t, well they are only human. And, then they go to the official replay official and he always says “well, they sure got that one right.” And then he will explain why, and how, and what, and everybody will pat each other on the back. One more face on the television telling me how everything is working perfectly. According to plan. No mistakes. 

And we can all sleep easy. You can thank them later.

A New Day, A New Adventure, Right?

Today, when I left home, my wife told me to try to lighten up a little. Things have been kind of dark lately. She is, often, the best gauge of my mental condition. Driving to work I thought about what she said, and knew she was right. Life has been too morbid lately. Headlines have consumed substance, reality has been replaced by superficial concerns, and it has really put a zap on my spirit. With that in mind I was going to write a list of my five favorite apps.

After a lot of thought it was impossible to narrow it down to five. I do love apps, little bitty gifts from the gods of technology. And you know something, I can never scroll past a post or article about apps. If it has the headline "15 great free apps," or anything similar I am hooked. Normally I end up getting one or two of them, and they aren't always so great. But, If you want to know which app is best for any particular task just send me a question at TweetTweetJohn@yahoo.com and I will be glad to give you my opinion, even if I have to make it up.*

I decided to go with sports., Unfortunately, right now the whole world is obsessed with Super Bowl commercials, and long ago I made the decision to boycott the commercials. It might give me something to discuss with my coworkers. Monday, I was at the dentist getting some small procedure done, really small, it didn't even require Novocaine, and in the middle there was a feature on the national morning news show previewing the super bowl commercials. My dentist, and his assistant had to stop, despite having all four hands and several sharp, sadistic, pointed things in my mouth, and watch, in rapt attention. It has become obscenely spiritual for the world. Despite all of our differences everyone can agree the Doritos commercial was fantastic. I don't even care who wins the football game, though oddly enough I do care who loses. Sports was out.

And it is too early for the Life Explained Lawn Care and Gardening Extravaganza, and too late for the 100 Best Christmas Gifts to Give to a Life Explained Staff Writer. But, Valentines Day is coming, and by an odd coincidence, I have actually been to Valentine, NE. So I decided to go with that.

Last time we were in South Dakota, and we had to go to Nebraska I told my wife, "don't worry, I
know how to get to there," Unfortunately, I did, but not the way we were supposed to go. We ended up 75 miles, or about 75 miles east, of Valentine, in Ainsworth, Of course, from what little I could tell, there is not a lot of difference between Ainsworth and Valentine (they are both lovely, little Nebraska towns) except for geographical placement. And the only real tragedy was we were heading for Valentine, and points south. So, my wife sighed, turned west and rolled her eyes up in her head so far it looked painful, and asked what we should do for lunch. She has become accustomed to my navigational adventures.

To my wife; Happy Valentines Day! Where do you want to go for dinner, I will get directions.



* Not really, I will probably at least look into it, and read something about great apps for whatever you asked about, before I make something up.

Pro Football, Reinvented.

Since it is the new year, it seems only fitting that this post address the goals for the coming year, or the achievements of last year. Having made it through 2016 seems like quite an accomplishment, so that is enough. As for goals for next year, I plan on making it to 2018. It will not be easy, but with a little luck and some planning it should be reachable.

Mostly New Years day is about football. Since it is on Sunday, which is the day the NFL plays the bowl games have been moved to Monday, which is when most of America (me) goes back to work there is college basketball. Pro sports are not really sports to me. They are much more business like, cut and dried. Not like a real business with spreadsheets, and memos, emails and faxes, but not like a game, either. It is hard to get excited about a guy who makes more in an afternoon than most of us will make in a year.

It might be a lot more entertaining if they had to forfeit part of their pay if they performed poorly. “Well, Chip, dropping that pass was sure costly. He is writing a check to the league, now. Just look at all those zeroes.” But, they can play awfully and still have a big paycheck waiting at the end of the tunnel. Yes, the coach may be facing a hostile press corps, and possible job loss, the players are insulated by dollar signs.

But, that would probably not make it that much better. Neither do the pregame shows, where they talk endlessly about tactics, matchups, and game plans. All with a warm smile, some jokes, and a few friendly jabs at each other. It is easier to make bold predictions when there is nothing lost. If they had to answer for each glaring mistake they might use more guarded optimism. But, people don’t want reasonable assumptions, they want fearless predictions, no matter how far in error.

We have groups of people that are paid to perform, paid well, with easily “quantifiable metrics,” with no retribution. Imagine, though, if the “experts” consuming all of the air time, making brash statements, were held accountable. “Last week you claimed the Cowboys were going to beat the Indians. You claimed it would not be in doubt. The Indians have not played so well since Little Big Horn. How do you justify such a wildly inaccurate guess?”
 
“Well, Cowboy safety Ian Klackbury played like poop, he couldn’t stop the run, and he let them pass
over the top all day long. And the whole offensive line was missing in action. It was humiliating. They should be ashamed.”

“For rebuttal we bring in the the Cowboy offensive line, and free safety Ian Klackbury. How do you plead?” At this point the coaches and players would have to justify their poor play, or lacking the ability to marshal sufficient arguments challenge the show host to a no holds barred cage match. Pro sports could be entertaining, they just don’t do it properly.

Eight and Two, making 'em happy, one session at a time

I would like to take a minute and bring a bit of cheer to America. The Nebraska Cornhuskers are 8 and 2.  Yes, I know I predicted an undefeated season, and a National Championship and we (the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and I) are going to fall a little short, but here is a news flash, next year I will predict the same thing.  And I predicted a woman president, and improved, usable mass transit in Columbus, and a Nobel Peace Prize for Dylan (not really, that took me by surprise) so I know predicting the future is tricky business. But, 8 and 2 makes me pretty happy.

Generally speaking happiness is a user definable term, and there are people whose teams are 9 and 1 after yesterday, and they are despondent. It is a relative thing. Yesterday was almost the extinction level event in the college football playoff rankings. To my college football fan brethren I offer you my support, and my affection.


I have decided to set up a sports psychology and therapy organization, free of charge. Kind of a grief counseling for those who have lost something dear, despite the fact they have lost nothing at all. Any true fan knows a teams loss resonates through a teams supporters for days. It is a wave effect, rippling through people who never played, many of us, (myself included) never had the talent to play college football, and almost all of us (myself particularly) have neither the knowledge nor the intestinal fortitude to coach. Can you imagine the tension they feel as they watch a close game slip away in the waning moments. I suppose the millions of dollars helps ameliorate the misery. (note to self, expand organization to add coaches, consider charging)

You see, I, like my brothers from Michigan, Clemson, Washington, and countless others through the years have watched a team loaded with talent, almost ordained by fate to be considered godly in its glory beaten by a bunch of cheating, underhanded, talentless hacks and their zebra striped minions.  How many times my team has had victory stolen by the a fame seeking, money dripping coach and his referee mafia. It makes me sick to this day.


Which is why I am offering this service to my friends, and fellow fans, whose blue and gold, or orange and blue, or purple and gold are teared stained, and torn, left in a miserable pile of broken dreams and chili cheese nacho stains.  Don’t despair, tomorrow will come, eventually, and the sun will shine again, someday. But, unless you come to Life Explained Loss Therapy it might take a while. Football, basketball fans welcome, the relief is real, and free, coaches, call me and we can discuss the fee.

A gentle change of the season.

Christmas has come and gone. Our Christmases are pretty tame, our kids are older, and we don't do much. As a family we don't stand too awfully convicted to tradition, we had lasagna for Christmas dinner.

But, we watched some basketball on television, a little football, but mostly hoops, baby, hoops. Which is important, it is a season of transition.

Screaming at basketball refs requires a shift in vocabulary. Sure, there are phrases that will work for either sport. "Hey, stripes you're missing a good game." "This is taking the Americans With Disabilities Act too far." But, far and large it requires a retooling of insults.

Christmas signals the changing of the seasons. A melding of two televised sports. An ideal time to
refine and hone the needed instructions for a different set of novice, oddly dressed, children.

So, stop fuming about the thugs committing pass interference on your poor, hardworking, abused receiver, and start being indignant about the muggers climbing right up the back of your honest, put upon rebounder.  And the corrupt, dastardly officials turning a well paid, blind eye to the crazed, cheating convicts that inhabit the bench of the other team.

Don't put away your indignation, just shift the focus of your rage. Remember the world of televised sports fans everywhere need your help.

Thanksgiving, football, and a grain of salt.

Since it is Thanksgiving it seems like a good time to talk about the odd way life turns, and twists, and a little bit of silliness. All in the vein of football. Many Americans believe football is a very important part of the reason to be thankful.

Recently Urban Meyer, head coach of the Ohio State football team, published a book.  I can't really remember the name, and it isn't really all that important.  Apparently the book dealt with last seasons championship team. I didn't read the book, but since I live in Columbus, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Urban Meyer interview.

According to the majority of interviews I was forced to endure the book dealt with instilling the proper values, and sense of responsibility in the players. He talked, apparently, about leadership, and love, and putting team first. All very noble, and wonderful.

He talked, during the interviews, about how much he loved the team, and what a special bond existed. And, I think he probably meant every word. Urban Meyer is an incredibly successful college football coach, and it would not be possible if he didn't feel an attachment to the players.

People ate it up. Endlessly talking about the ethic, and exacting standards Coach Meyer demanded of his team. Sports fans are the most easily deluded people.

Unfortunately for Coach Meyer his starting quarterback was arrested for driving under the influence, and minor in possession of alcohol. Ouch. Only a week after the release of the book. He was suspended for one game. Not exactly a draconian punishment. Whether it was appropriate, or not is unimportant. He was a young man, who made a mistake, as young men so often will. But, it was not a courageous act of responsible leadership.

And even more unfortunate for the coach, they lost to Michigan State. It was a tough game that was decided on a field goal as time expired. It could have gone either way, the kind of game that is so fun to watch.

But when it was over the star running back came on television and said he was forgoing his senior
season, and roundly criticized the play calling. He felt, he said, they should have given him the ball more often. Checking the statistics he carried the ball 12 times for 33 yards. These numbers fall short of inspiring. Plus, the tail back had spent two days in the hospital with an infection in his leg.

Certainly, Urban Meyer does the best he can with a widely diverse group of young men. And he wins games, which is why he was hired. But, fans like to pretend that there is more to it than football. So, enjoy the games. Appreciate all the hard work of the players and coaches. But, don't think for a second that it is being played by angels, accept that they are humans who make mistakes, and it is even more remarkable.

Thanksgiving The Early Days.

Since this is the week Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, it only seems appropriate that I publish my Christmas Gift List, in case you were thinking of breaking out the old plastic money card, spending a few bucks and buying something nice. No, not really, just kidding, that list is too long for one small post. I will publish it as a daily serial over the next several weeks.

What we should discuss is the history of Thanksgiving. It began sometime around... it was about the time of... when the... It has been going on for a long time, a really long time, nobody knows when it started, but it had something to do with football, everybody can agree on that.

Careful, thorough research has led to the true roots of this wonderful day.

Early man learned that at a certain point in the year he could stop mowing the lawn. Soon after that he discovered that all of the leaves had been raked up and hauled away by an early waste disposal person.

 And he said, "thank God. You know, I should take Thursday off, and eat like a glutton, and sleep through a football game or two, and then maybe have some pie."

Early Wife said, "Ok, but if you are doing that, I am shopping like a demon on Friday, early as hell, too."

Early man said, "All right, I hope they have some good deals."

And there you have the true origin of Thanksgiving.

Sunday, and the news.

I am not sure there is much left worth saving. Watching the Sunday Morning NFL pre-game show on television they devoted a whole, lengthy portion of the show to discuss a football player who had been accused of beating his wife.

It was a very somber discussion. With overtones of punishment and retribution. Everybody was outraged. Different targets were dragged through the cross hairs of the panels vitriol, and outrage.  It was so serious they had to bring in experts. Football players and sports announcers, and some other sport "personalities." It was gripping. 

It went on for hours, at least it seemed like hours, and in the end they decided that he should not have beaten his wife. I wasn't paying that much attention, but it seemed to be a split decision about whether he should be playing but it seemed unanimous about domestic violence being bad. It was gripping.

It is amazing how long so many can talk about something so serious, so tragic, and never say anything worth listening to. And how many people watch and listen. 

Normally I don't watch anything involving professional sports, and I hardly ever watch a pregame anything, but my son is a big sports fan. The sins of the son being visited upon the father.

It seems like this whole thing is a comedy of errors, he beat his wife, and there are pictures of evidence. But, he was never prosecuted. He was suspended, but it was reduced, and he was signed to a new contract by the Cowboys, and it gives the people on television something to act indignant about.

In the end nobody is going to do anything, and life will go on. Winning is everything, and a woman's bruises and scars are fodder for people fighting for ratings. Enjoy the game.

"I was sitting home alone one night,

in LA watching old Cronkite on the seven o'clock news

Seems there was an earthquake that left

nothing but a panama hat and a pair of Greek shoes,

Didn't seem like much was happening 

so I turned it off and went to get another beer

Seems like every time you turn around 

there's another hard luck story that you're gonna hear

And I never did plan to go anyway

To Black Diamond Bay."

Black Diamond Bay by Bob Dylan

Today in History, a List

It is time to look at the day ahead. The best way to do that is to look back. So on this day in history;

Today was the first of the televised Kennedy vs. Nixon debates. Kennedy was declared the winner by technical knock out. Many people felt Kennedy was much more comfortable in front of the camera, and was willing to wear makeup, while Nixon was a little pasty, sweaty and a lot like most Americans would be in front of a national televised audience. Proving that we don't want somebody like a normal American to be in charge, substance is secondary to appearance, and there is no point in saying anything profound unless you do it attractively.*

Francis Drake returns to England after sailing around the world, officially "circumnavigating the globe." He was the first British navigator to sail the globe. He set off on December 13th, 1577 with five ships, officially he was going to raid Spanish holdings in the new world, but a series of storms made a mess of things, and he wound up in San Francisco Bay and claimed the territory property of the Queen. The Forty Niners, and the Giants were furious, fearing that they were going to have to learn soccer (football, to Drake). But, the games were allowed to continue, and everybody was happy, even the Queen.** 

The Bill of Rights was ratified by the First Congress, and sent to the states for approval which is important, too.

The Brady Bunch premiered on television which is not important.

The first American soldier was killed in Vietnam, in 1945, that really surprised me.

A lot of other things happened, too, but this is enough for one post. Besides, I need more coffee.

*Here, I should add the disclaimer, I am a liberal democrat, not because I trust democrats any more than I trust republicans, only because I like the sound of being liberal more than conservative. And image is everything.

**I should mention that sailing is often called the "worst way to travel that doesn't use an airplane." At least on this blog. 

Football, evolution and the curse of the modern world

It is Sunday, late summer, and the air is cool and comfortable, sometimes a little too cool to be comfortable, still it feels like summer is gone. Summer is great, everybody loves summer, all of the sun, and swimming, but it can really wear out its welcome. Ninety degree heat and ninety percent humidity can create drag, friction. If it weren't for all of the sweat there would be a lot of people bursting into flames. Sweat is a wonderful evolutionary device.

Evolution has given us quite a bit. It has taken us from our early days of roaming from place to place, digging in the dirt for roots, chasing down animals, hunting and gathering, to a civilized world filled with soaking wet, sweaty people who are chasing down bargain meat, and vegetables in Mega Stores. Fighting over the last 3 pound package of reduced price ground chuck, as you watch helplessly from the back of the crowd, thinking "I wish those people would burst into flames, and I could grab that package of delicious hamburger, and feed my family."

But, they won't. Because evolution has provided us the means, at great expense to keep these gigantic, cavernous buildings cool and comfortable. And filled with wonderful food products that will sustain our families for the long week ahead, even during football season.

Football season dramatically increases the caloric intake of the average American family. Evolution has given us the intelligence to watch our favorite teams play, no matter where the game is, right from the comfort of our living room. There is so much yelling and screaming and gnashing of teeth, that it requires a dramatic increase in sustenance. Mostly beer, chips, and pizza.

It takes a lot of food and drink to watch, big sweaty men play a game. Watching with hope, against all common sense, really burns calories. It really takes energy to watch a dream die right on television. How often have we wished that the speedy running back streaking down the sideline, (as our team's defense watches helplessly with no chance of catching him) would burst into flames, the ball bouncing to our team, and saving us the humiliation of one more score in a lop sided loss?  But, evolution has saved the speedy, impossibly muscled young man safe from spontaneous combustion.

In short, evolution is mixed blessing, particularly during football season. Tune in next week when we discuss Survivor for football officials, (vote the blind one off the island) an idea whose time has come.

Damn Those Patriots.

Until recently the I cared very little for the NFL. Oh sure I would always pick a team to root for, normally right after the Super Bowl. Man, I was on a roll there, my teams were kicking bottom, It was a great system.

It was an ill wind that blew in from the Northeast. There was a group of men, who had the audacity to call themselves patriots, and even invoked the image of the Minute Man, cheating. And not just cheating either, you know grabbing a little extra jersey, or poking a guy in the snoot at the bottom of a pile, or saying heinous things about an opponents Mother when lining up against him, they all do that, it is an accepted part of the game.

And it wasn't just the garden variety schmoozing of the referee, in an effort to distract him, or "accidentally" stepping on the quarterback while he is laying on the ground, or the greasing of the uniform with slippery silicone to make yourself more difficult to tackle, or having the person with the down marker distract the coach by chewing gum and popping bubbles as annoyingly loud as possible, everybody does those things. That is just strategy.

No, this was much worse, it was so bad even the NFL and the Super Fans who anchor the shows on
ESPN and Fox Sports had to say something. That is how desperate it has become. It seems that the quarterback deflated some footballs that were used by the other team.  It was so bad that the NFL suspended him from four games. But, the American Judicial system in its zeal to mete out justice overturned the suspension. Justice at work, an American Symbol.

During the opening game between the Steelers and the "Patriots" (don't make me laugh) the Line Judge called a False Start on the right tackle of the New England team, and was about to assess a five yard penalty, but the Judge came out on the field and overruled him. He actually called an encroachment on Pittsburgh and gave the five yards to New England. The Pittsburgh coaching staff was livid, and were almost charged with Contempt of the Court. It was so close.

Thank goodness they had soothing music being piped into all of their communication gear, or it could have gotten ugly.

NFL the season begins.

Last night the NFL season officially began, here are the highlights. Two teams filled with huge, fast, fit men making gigantic piles of money lined up in opposing lines and ran as hard and as fast as they could until they slammed into each other.

One team scored more points and won the game. But, I am not sure how many points they scored, I am pretty certain the Patriots won, though, because according to reports they are unrepentant cheaters. Scofflaws, ne'er do wells, that disregard rules, regulations, and common decency. Which makes winning a lot easier.

Here is the problem, there are people lining up to offer damning evidence that the Patriots are cheating. Somebody is obviously not very patriotic. At this point it is difficult to tell whether it is the Patriots who, by the act of cheating so blatantly that even the NFL has noticed, are defiling the decent name of patriotism, or the accusers who, tired of losing, and watching the New England team bask in the glory of victory are unfairly accusing a group of Patriots, who are guilty of nothing more than excellence.

And either way I am furious. Those bastards! I just don't know where to vent my outrage right yet.

But, if the Patriots are guilty I would like to offer them the opportunity to run my fantasy team, with their alleged ability to game the system, and my indifference to fantasy sports we could go a long way. What do you say, Bill?

Cornhuskers, Football, and Life.

There comes a time in every life when a person has to look at the decisions made, the paths followed. A time when the wealth of deeds needs to be measured, and expectations evaluated. A time when a real man, or woman (having no understanding of women I will leave that to women) will look at his, or her life and understand, almost instinctually if significant progress has been made toward the goals set. Or whether modifications are needed, whether it be to the goals, or to the tactics of life.

Given the state of my life, and my deep, uncompromised loathing for introspection, my mistrust of self examination, and the fact that it is Saturday, the greatest day of the week, the weather is beautiful, and I am feeling very peaceful we are not going to have none of that.

Note my signature finger in the photo!

Instead, we are going to talk about the coming football season, it is Saturday, after all.  I am an unapologetic Nebraska Cornhusker fan. Yes, they have had their troubles lately, and yes they are still in the midst of a rebuilding process that has taken years, and yes the new coaching staff will certainly need time to develop their team. But, I don't care. 

I forgot the finger,
please forgive me.

In the end there has to be something besides winning that drives a fan. You need to feel some kinship with the players, coaches and other fans. Some deep, communal bond that transcends the game. We, my family and I, are big Louisville Cardinal basketball fans (I have been for years, since before Dr. Dunkenstein) and we try to take in a game at the Yum Center in Louisville every year. When you walk around the arena before the game there is a friendly, family reunion feel. People are smiling, and the camaraderie is palpable. It is transcendent, and tonic. And sports needs that.

Of course I want the team to win every game, but, I still wear my Nebraska shirts with pride when they don't. After a loss, when, without fail, someone will ask "what happened?" I will say "they lost." and walk away smiling. These are young men, who work incredibly hard, and are coached by people who have made an obsession of learning the nuances of the sport. And sometimes that is not enough, but it would be a comedy of idiocy were I to try coaching the team, so I don't try to coach, post game. 

When people ask if I am "happy about winning only 8 games a season." I say "I am extremely happy when they win, and less happy when they lose. But, feel comfortable saying it wasn't because they weren't trying."

We have a new coach this year and that is always exciting. We are undefeated so far, and that is great. And, we have a whole season of ups and downs, and the roller coaster ride is what makes it worthwhile, so thank you Mike Riley, thank you Nebraska Cornhuskers, and fans, I am ready.  It will be a great season.

An End, And A Beginning.

December 1st, the end of the season, and a head coach gets fired, and the hatred and blame start in earnest.  It is too bad, but the man has a very nice severance package and will have ample resources to provide for his family.  He did an admirable job at Nebraska, but, his rate of pay probably should indicate that admirable would only carry a coach so far.  There were times when people would expect extraordinary.

Wisconsin, probably was enough to make the decision.  Another lopsided, humiliating defeat at the hands of a team that was really not significantly better than Nebraska.  To be fair no one should really say the Badgers were fantastically superior to NU, but on that day they ran all over the Husker defense, Melvin Gordon ripping off long runs, 40 or 60 yards, (it looked like miles) untouched jaunts into the end zone, and it seemed like the only real threat was one of his teammates knocking him to the ground.  He should thank Nebraska in his post season award acceptance speeches.  Thank you Badger coach for sitting him down in the 4th quarter.  Nebraska's offense could not hold onto the ball long enough to help either.   The storm was approaching.

If that game was an omen the Minnesota game the following week was the tolling bell.  Senior day, and after a decent start, a complete collapse.  Minnesota's quarterback, a very good player, to be sure, starts to look like Melvin Gordon.  Running around the end for 12 or 14 yards a play.  Thank goodness he ran out of bounds.

Bo Pelini did a good job, and I will always be a fan.  It got a little old watching them collapse once or twice a year, though.  Earlier in the season I thought the Cornhuskers were getting very little respect, they were undefeated, had a Heisman candidate running the ball, a defense that looked like it might be living up to standards, and a relatively easy division, in a conference that was having an off year.  But, it seems like voters knew better.  Why bother putting them higher, the inevitable meltdown was coming, with terrifying regularity.

As far as the arguments that say Nebraska has no right to expect better,  I respectfully say, speaking only for myself, I think an occasional conference championship is not asking for too much.  Not being humiliated once or twice a year on television is not too demanding.  Maybe this is wrong, but it sounds reasonable.  To answer the question of who would accept a job at a school that fires a coach with nine wins.  It seems the coaching world is filled with giant egos, and there is no shortage of people willing to take a paycheck that size.

But, the future starts today, and it is being written right now, so I accept the bad with the good, knowing that there will be wins and losses in the years ahead.  But, honestly this is probably the only decision that could have been made.  I raise my coffee cup and toast the future, good luck Bo, I know you will do well, and good luck Shawn Eichorst, it is a difficult road you travel, and I hope you find a great coach, and last Go Big Red, I will always be a fan.

Attracting Fans, Difficulties and Rewards

NFL Stadiums are looking for unique, entertaining diversions to attract fans.  Pleasantries to bring people out of the comforts of their homes in to huge arenas filled with strangers.  It is perplexing, attracting people to these giant monstrosities, parking miles away, standing in long lines to enter, exit, and waiting for hours in your car to drive home.  If only there were a competition, some sort of game being played in the center of the arena.  What?  There is, you say?  Oh, then what is the problem?

It seems the average ticket price into an NFL game is $84.83 which is kind of pricey.  So, that could be part of the problem.  If you have a family of four and you are fortunate to earn middle class wages that is a huge part of your budget.  Well, at least it only costs $10.00 for parking.

But, once you are inside you can immerse your little family in the total experience.  It will only cost you $5.00 for a soft drink, or popcorn, and $8.00 for a beer, or a hot dog.  But, the service is so extraordinary that the budget busting prices won't seem extravagant.  Just kidding, you will probably stand in line long enough to watch your clothes go out of style.

Your seats are liable to be uncomfortable, with enough leg room for a child, and in the center of a long row, so every time you need to get out everybody will be inconvenienced and worried about spilling a hundred dollars of food and drinks.  And, it will be the same when you return.

Of course, there is the game, which might be so far away that you might not be able to tell which team is which, (think Tecmo Bowl, who has the ball, or what everybody is cheering about.  And, even if you can see well enough to enjoy the game your legs will cramp from being folded into such an awkward way, and your fingers will cramp from trying to hold a drink, a snack, and all of the prohibitively expensive souvenirs you bought,(possibly a mortgage payments worth) and live in terror of losing of destroying.

What can they do to attract more fans?  It is a puzzle, wrapped inside a riddle, tied up with a question, and tossed into a trunk of troubling doubt.  What do you think they should do.  The best suggestion will get an honorable tweet, with the #bestsuggestion.  I know, it is such an honor.

One for the Ages.

It wasn't fancy and it wasn't pretty, and it didn't carry the significance of some of the meetings in the past.  But, if you think it wasn't important to these two teams you probably did not watch the game.

From the first play it was obvious that, even though the players on the field had not taken part in the gladiatorial contests of the pasts they knew these were schools with a shared history.  An unpleasant, fierce, competitive background.  And, they were willing to carry that standard into the present, and make sure it lived to see tomorrow.

In the end Nebraska won this game.  Using a brutal ground assault, smashing and crushing, and pounding.  Huskers along the offensive must have majored in history, they were surging forward, opening holes, and invoking memories of past glories.  This was a ferocious game, against a determined, talented defense, and this group of huge, powerful, relentless young men won it with their play.

Downfield, Kenny Bell (who has repeatedly shown he is a weapon catching a pass) and the entire Nebraska receiving corps proved that not only can they average over 16 yards a catch, but they can keep their teammates moving forward by throwing blocks that would make a pulling guard smile with pride.

But, it was the play of the two headed, four legged football monster of Tommy Armstrong Jr. and Ameer Abdullah that roared the loudest.  Two flashes of brilliance whose total is more than the sum or even the product of the individual parts.  Tommy Armstrong is a gunslinger, cool, inscrutable, fearless, he is in control, and he is a treasure, in red.  Ameer Abdullah is Shiva, though, he is a five foot nine inch, 190 pound destroyer, the shatterer of worlds.

Watching Abdullah driving through opponents, outrunning, overpowering, brings back so many memories of Nebraska I backs, a dream sequence in a red jersey, a flashback to glorious days of indecent rushing totals, and scores.  If there is a club for great Nebraska running backs there is a special seat reserved for number 8.

No, in the end it wasn't pretty, but to a guy who remembers the past so fondly, it was beautiful.  Thank you, Tim Beck, thank you Tommy Armstrong, and Ameer Abdullah, thank you Nebraska Cornhuskers.

As Bob Dylan said, with such haunting beauty,

"Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood,

When blackness was a virtue, and the road was full of mud,

I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form,

'Come in' she said 'I'll give you shelter from the storm.'"

Football, so good we need two.

Mike Raven, curator of The Blog of Thog. and I are going to try to sway public opinion, convincing everybody in the whole world, or at least the very wise portion that read blogs, particularly the geniuses who read our blogs that one brand of football is better than the other.  I am speaking for the American Brand of Football, and +Mike Raven will be representing the rest of the world.

American Football is so advanced because the entire country is filled with experts.  Every Saturday and Sunday, in millions of homes across this huge country, and in select military bases and bastions of civilization, around the world people are screaming instructions, and helpful advice at television sets.

We all know, deep inside, the officials, who have been hand picked from the ranks of the lower levels of competition, have trained for years and continue training and education year around, and are trying to make snap decisions regarding barely visible potential infractions are so biased they should end the charade and wear the other teams colors.  It is amazing our team can ever win a game the way the refs stack the odds against them.

Off we go, beer and pizza, and back to the game.  And it is obvious this coach that our university, city or state has mortgaged its soul to lure to our team is an idiot.  Sure, he can diagram plays that look like hieroglyphics, understands complex systems and schemes, and can speak at length about defenses and the best way to attack them.  Yes, he has won at every level, and brought home numerous championships.  But, now he seems to be slipping into dementia.  What an idiot.

Back to the kitchen for chicken wings, a few beers, maybe some nachos.  You know what mystifies the average American Football fan?  The way these athletes, who have trained, and conditioned since they were little children, and have managed to become the greatest football players in the world can be so incompetent.  The average fans grandmother could throw a better pass than that, and she is in a wheelchair, and has never even thrown a football.

So, as you can see, Mr. Raven, American Football is superior because the entire country is filled with experts. More honest than the refs, smarter than the coaches and more talented than the players.  With all of that ability in one country what else would you expect?

Thank you,

America

Coming Soon

The world is a big place, and it holds a lot of people.  Many of these people have different beliefs, values and traditions.  All of which are important, and have merit, all of which should be respected, and allowed to flourish.  Of course, all of these different cultures, and dogmas can occasionally lead to conflict.  It leads a gentle soul to anguish, and mourning the time wasted with bigotry and dogma.  What if more time were spent trying to understand each other, accept each other, and welcome each other?  What then, would the world be a happier place, would  people spend their energy in the service of greater good?  Who knows?

To that end, Life Explained is going to take one small step and explain to the world why football, as played, watched, adored, hated, and obsessed over in America is such a remarkable game.  Why it is so transformational, entertaining and beloved that everybody should learn to scream "off tackle dive play on third and four, what kind of *$*#()#** idiot would call that play?!?!?!!!" at their television, and how that kind of behavior can save the world from anger and hate.

"Cue the music"

To do this we are writing a compelling, moving, beautifully crafted essay on the values imparted by regimented team play, and insanely compulsive attention to detail, and, of course storming up and down the sidelines berating officials, players, fans, mascots, and cheerleaders.  We are going to explain how a "cover two" defense with a "will blitz package" may actually end war.  And we are going to have a video, with music.

To complement this wonderful, selfless act of charity we have partnered with the good people of The Blog Of Thog, who are going to attempt to explain how football to the rest of the world, soccer to Americans, is really a game with strategies, and intrigue, and has the potential to allow for the all important screaming at a television set.  And he is going to add a video production of inestimable value.  Also, rumor has it that there is a new animation program in the Blog of Thog headquarters, so there may be some remarkable special effects.

As you can see there is a lot of buzz around the ol' blogosphere in the near future.  So, get the popcorn, nachos and beer ready, break out the high definition large screen tablets, and get ready.

In unrelated news, our search for a celebrity spokesperson is still underway.  We have "broadened" standards to include radio hosts, and people who have been a contestant on Jeopardy, and we are not requiring that they won.  If you meet that criteria, are willing to work for free, with the possibility of a big payday when we syndicate, and don't want to have any control on content, please contact us at "tweettweetjohn@yahoo.com"

A little help, please.

Last night the moon was huge, it looked as if it were dropping in for a visit, maybe a danish, coffee, and the morning news.  It was even a little intimidating to look at, it was so big.  How small and insignificant these things make humanity seem, the world that surrounds us, and the universe that surrounds that, it is mystifying, grandiose and infinite.  And we are a small, pointless little infestation, filled with self importance and ego, sure of our infallibility, and our place in the universe.  Which is why we invented television

Ah, the joys of television, the guilty pleasure of watching Dr. Phil bring the hammer down on some poor schmuck, all while thinking, "what a moron.  I am way smarter than that dunce."  Maybe so.  Dr, Phil too real for you?  Try "reality television," it is completely divorced from reality.  Watching reality television is a little like watching professional wrestling, shifting alliances, well documented subterfuge, and sabotage, and the slight chance for an occasional injury.  Injuries, and Machiavellian intrigue in front of film crew, a microcosm of the human experience.  If this is not sounding like your cup of TV, don't give up yet.

There is televised sports, a sure fire escape, and if the game is not enough you can tune into a sports programming television network, and listen to them talk about sports all day long, into the night, and into the next day.  Lose yourself in high lights, and endless, explosive description of games that are already over.  It is a love/hate relationship without hope for escape. Everybody who watches sports with any frequency can tell you exactly why a team lost.  And it never involves the simple explanation, "wow, that team was a lot bigger, stronger, and faster than my team."  Deep inside every sports fan is a hall of fame coach, just one small break from a million dollar contract, a series of championships, and the love of all those adoring fans.

You might be asking yourself, "where is all this mindless, pointless drivel going?"  If so, you are probably new to this blog, but there is a point.  I have a showdown, with pride, and national identity on the line, well maybe not national identity, or pride, but a showdown, with +Mike Raven, from The Blog of Thog, about football, American Style, versus Football, the rest of the world style, which is, sort of, a continuation of our video production death match, and I find myself lacking any decent football video, that is not copyrighted or protected, and is free to use, I would hate to pirate anything, and end up breaking rocks in the "big house."  If you have any please email me at "tweettweetjohn@yahoo.com, or just let me know where to find it by putting in a link in the comment section.