Looking for Answers

Oscar Wilde said "I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability."  That might be a little cynical. I'm not sure God is to blame for man. Certainly there is enough blame to go around, and God gets a lot of credit. I have seen some of the greatest athletes of my time thank the good Lord for their achievements. 

This is more than a little troubling. It almost implies God liked one team more than the other. I'm no theologian but that doesn't sound like the God. At least not the God they drilled into me in Catholic school. But, God works in mysterious ways.

Recently someone on a Facebook writers group I belong to (yes I am still calling myself a writer) had an idea for a television project. It would take a book and make a season long series. Most books are hard to compress into a two hour movie, but a 22 episode series provides a little more substance. She asked which book people would choose. The first one that came to my head was "God Knows," by Joseph Heller. I loved that book, but was surprised that it was the first one to come to mind. I'm not a religious man.

The other day, I was looking for a quote for an article I was writing about love. And I remembered a concert with Bob Dylan and Tom Petty. In the opening Dylan talked about heroes.

"This song's about my hero. Everybody's got heroes, I don't know who your hero is, maybe Mel Gibson, all right, let's hear it for Mel Gibson. I think for some of you it might be Micheal Jackson. maybe Bruce Springsteen. Anyway, I don't care nothing about none of those people..." Followed by a scorching hot version of "In the Garden." The best I have ever heard.

Which reminded me of the Steppenwolf song, "From Here to There Eventually."

"I remember when, I still embraced you,
A little prayer could ease my mind
Til' I saw that you hide from the misery outside."

A song about the disillusionment suffered by so many as the world falls apart and the answers seem so trite and pointless. There is no comfort in teachings that don't address the suffering. And I remembered the liner notes from Aqualung by Jethro Tull.

"In the beginning Man created God.
And in the image of Man created he him..

...But as these things did come to pass, 
the Spirit that did cause Man to create his God
lived on within all men: even within Aqualung.

And Man saw it not.

But for Christ’s sake he’d better start looking."

Life, religion, art, all seem so intertwined, so dependent on each other. In a way we have always been looking for answers. We always will. Finding something to offer a little comfort is a blessing. That is all most of us really want, just something to make sense of the madness. I don't think that is asking too much.

A day in the park.

It has been a while since I made a video of any kind. It is not for lack of desire, or a lack of apps, in fact there are a couple of new apps that have more potential than I deserve. But, you have to have a base, something to build on, it can be a series of pictures, or a video, but it isn’t like sitting down and hammering out a blog post where there are no real requirements, no need for a foundation. Just start typing and see where it goes.

I decided to take a walk through the park, take a few pictures, see a few things, get the blood flowing, and maybe come up with a few ideas. It was a lot colder than I thought. And I have developed a terrible, permanent cramp that runs from my hip to my toes on the left leg. Limping takes a lot longer. I couldn’t find my camera, so it seemed like an idea doomed from the start. But, stubbornly I went. I had my phone.

Nature is fantastic. I love nature. Obviously it is a lot easier to love when it has a paved path running through the middle, not as muddy, easier to navigate. I love to fish, but it is so much easier because I never catch anything. I have a kayak, but as far as I know it has never been in the water, maybe this year.

Still, nature is wonderful. Central Ohio has some spots that are amazing. Nestled in the midst of the ugliness of rapidly expanding humanity, houses, apartments, office buildings shooting up, chopping down forests, pulling up roots of trees hundreds of years old. Big, ugly tractors pushing piles of dirt, so big, bland buildings can take the place of the artwork Mother Nature has been creating for thousands of years. Progress marches on, over and through, I guess.
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Though, a greatly reduced, and controlled version of nature, I love walking through the park. I know for everything seen there are a dozen unseen. And that is fine. A lot of those are not things you really want to see while you are limping through a park in weather so cold hardly anybody else was brave enough to limp around the paved path.

Sometimes in the morning, driving to work on a road that runs beside the creek that bisects the park, and less than a hundred yards from the entry, coyotes sit, watching, waiting. Coyotes are not large, and rarely attack humans, from what little I understand. But, nobody wants to be that exception. There are skunks, raccoons, rats, turkeys, deer, all hidden away, lurking just below the tranquil surface. Hardly a murderers row of predators, but nothing to mess with, either.

In those lonelyy moments, though, it is enough to see nature in all its beauty. Death, birth, life all working together in one frame. A symbiotic relationship between decay, growth, rot and rejuvenation. This time of year, the stark, humbling nakedness of the trees, and the long views allowed paint a picture of a world at rest.

Peace, quiet, and solitude. Only the sound of the water tumbling over rocks. It is almost spiritual. The hand of God, displaying its power in a small park in the middle of Ohio.

In one place along the path is a monument. At the far end of a circular walkway is a granite slab in remembrance of a young lady, a little girl, really, who took her own life in the park. Oddly enough she went to elementary school with my youngest son. They had gone on to different high schools and were not close, but it still had an effect, a chilling, icy grip.Even in the cold, even while dragging my stiff, sore leg behind me, I have to stop and say a silent prayer. Anybody who can walk past that without feeling some pain is probably in too big of a hurry.


Walking past abandoned baseball diamonds, this is the serious pre season, and a silent, empty bog, it was impossible not to think about the noise of children who would soon be dressed in uniforms, occupying fields, chewing gum and chasing the most American of values, sports stardom. Chewing gum, sunflower seeds and serious coaches and parents making the area hum with tension. And a short hop away the bog would be alive with croaking frogs, hunting snakes, and the life of nature's season.

What does any of this have to do with making a video? Probably nothing, maybe a little. But, sometimes a moment of walk through a small park, all by yourself, and take the time to remember all of the things that are important. A video is still coming, it might be the trip to the store and library with my wife today. But, it is coming.

The Life Explained Christmas Plagiarism Extravaganza Part D.

The god of Christmas Past opened the door, it swung with a complaining squeak, and scrambled out into the empty street, leaving the door hanging in the street. The hood opened as noisily as the door. There was some swearing, some vaporizer smoke, a little more swearing, while the car rocked gently from side to side.

"Hey, man, crank the key, would you?"

Eddie reached over and turned the key, the engine started with a small sigh of acceptance. While the god of Christmas Past was unhooking the portable battery charger a motorcycle  chopped way past the edge of safety, roared past, driving right through the open door, without disturbing the door, the motorcycle or the rider.

"Take that, fatman." the rider screamed as an empty bottle clanged off the hood. Eddie ducked, cringing into the passenger seat.

"I hate this dream," he said, to himself.

Slamming the hood down the god made an obscene gesture to the rider who had disappeared into the night. "I hate that guy," he muttered as he settled into the drivers seat, fastening his shoulder belt, and stowing the charger in the glove box.

"Who was it?" Eddie asked, pretending he had dropped something and was looking diligently for it instead of cowering in fear. While pretending to rummage around he noticed the carpet was filthy, covered in oil spots, with bare patches, and had a few large wads of gum stuck in places.

"The Tooth Fairy, he is all jacked up on sugar soda, and gum. And really steamed because he never gets a night off. I used to have that job, and let me tell you, it sucks, always on call, and since it is always night somewhere you never get a moment's peace. And the price of discarded teeth keeps climbing. But, the resale value is in the dumper, so it is impossible to make a living.

"I wouldn't wish that job on my worst enemy, but I am glad that guy has it, he is dip wad, of unbelievable proportions. I hate that guy. It would be fine if he were transferred to one of Santa's Stable Elves. Shoveling a little reindeer poo would do him some good." Said the god of Christmas past while reaching into the back seat and grabbing an energy drink from cooler.

"Do you want one of these?" He asked, showing Eddie the can, Multi Year Monstrous Energy Drink (for when you are visited by otherworldly beings) Rainbow Flavor the can read. "Regulations say I have to offer you one, and it ain't half bad, maybe three quarters bad," he laughed.

"No, I think I'm going to be sick." Eddie said, trying to wipe the carpet gunk from his hand onto the seat.

"Suit yourself, human," he said, while a giant, slippered foot stomped down on the accelerator, causing the car to rocket into a light filled void that threatened to suck the insides of Eddie's body out through his ears.