http://tim-thingsastheyare.blogspot.com/ Follow my blog with Bloglovin
Showing posts with label license. Show all posts
Showing posts with label license. Show all posts

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Driving Dr. Dawg, Part 1

It was cold and breezy and the rain was inconsistently uncomfortable. It was the new year, and it looked like hell. Everything looked grey, and bleak. The dark was grudgingly giving way to an angry, unfriendly dawn. And dawn was not happy to be there.

Dr. Dawg glared at me from the passenger seat. Blame and distaste described his gaze. It was more than a little uncomfortable. 

"Watch out, that guy is going to cut you off." He snapped from the passenger seat.

"I know what I'm doing." I said.

"Do you have to go so slow? Everybody is passing us." 

"I'm going seven miles an hour over the speed limit."

I think you mean "most of us back successfully."
It's too cold, it's too early, turn up the heat, the diatribe was endless. We had an early morning meeting at the airport with executives from $%&&!@@# (text redacted for national security) and early morning anythings were not good at Life Explained.

Dr. Dawg is never a good passenger, he is disgusted because they won't let him take the drivers test. Just because he's a dog. He calls it "the paranoid restrictions of an inferior race." Maybe, maybe not, but I hate driving him anywhere. He carps endlessly. I should make him take a taxi.



Thursday, August 13, 2015

Back to School Precaution.

It is that time of year. Kids are going back to school, buses are cruising along, big, yellow, slow moving blobs, stopping constantly. Picking up children, stopping at railroad tracks, refusing to run yellow lights. What madness is this?

It never fails, you get behind a bus, and think it will turn at the next intersection, then you can open 'er up and make some time. But, when the bus turns dutifully at the next street, there is another bus in front of it. It never ends.

Stuck, plodding along, stopping, starting, inching, and cursing. And when you look up there are several small faces peering out the window. Worse, there are several fingers pointing. Next, the laughing, and you start thinking, man this is junior high all over again. And you start to worry that maybe your clothes are not very cool, or your hair is too long, or too short,or too messy.

"I am a captain of industry, at least a second lieutenant," you think, "I could buy and sell these kids. In fact, being a tax payer, I bought that bus. Those little ingrates." So you start pointing back, and laughing at them.

And since they are a bus full of immature little snots, they make a sign, that says something awful. You don't have to put up with that. You are a man of importance, and power.Scrambling frantically for something to fight back with and the only thing you can find is the registration for your car. That's fine, when was the last time you needed that, never.

So you grab a permanent marker, and start writing your rebuttal, you will show them, childish little brats! They don't know what a good insult is, but they will soon.

Unfortunately, the bus stopped to pick up more of the little punks, but you didn't notice, because you were just finishing the great bit about that kids goofy looking spider-man shirt.

Now, you are going to need that registration (and your license, and proof of insurance) and start to think maybe you should have used a pencil.

School is starting, be careful, and watch out for the little angels, and the back of the bus, and the law.


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Vanity, It Looks Good On You.

As many of you know, I am not a very good driver.  Normally I have a lot of things running through my mind. Many important things, that are consuming a lot computational cycles.  Plus, there is always the terrible decision of which song to listen to next, and a little light hearted banter with Siri.  Also, there are infinite distractions.  All over the route to and from work, there are diversions, and eye catching side shows, and fantastic scenes begging to be noticed.

Lately there have been an unusual number of vanity plates.  Each one deserves a little attention.  That is the whole purpose behind having a little something extra put on your license plate, it is asking to be noticed.
Plate Enhanced Through Top Secret Technology.

Of course it is difficult to take a decent picture while driving 65 miles an hour, and dodging all of the crazy people out there.  Honestly, the roads are filled with crazy people, weaving in and out of traffic, talking on the phone, and being a potential hazard.  It is amazing that I have lived this long.  Anyway, I saw this vanity plate, and it reminded me of the big showdown this weekend with +Mike Raven.  Over at the Tea drinkers r' us.And, I thought it was kind of a sign, maybe drinking tea was ok.





But then this happened, and I changed my mind.  I think I will stick to coffee.  Care for a spot of tea, anyone?