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Thursday, August 15, 2013

The Newest Thing in Transportation.

News, fast, furious, and non-stop that is the number 1 responsibility of the internet.  Finding out what is happening, why it is happening, and to whom it is happening, why else would you spend time screwing around in front of a computer, when you could be reading a book, cleaning the basement, or garage, washing the car, or eating pizza and watching TV.  But, the unquenchable desire to understand, to learn, to gather information in an effort to amass more knowledge than your neighbor, thereby affirming who is actually better, that is what keeps you glued to your monitor, or screen, or whatever you are glued to.  That is why, when Life Explained heard rumors of an exciting new technology developing in the field of transportation we had to break the news.

It seems in Germany, long known as a country that will get things done, they have developed an exciting new form of transportation.  A vehicle that requires no fossil fuel, no electrical recharge, no cells, batteries, engine of any kind.  In fact, it seems to be completely carbon neutral.  We had to find out more, so we sent our ace German reporter to test the abilities of this new device.

Apparently, this is powered by a person, who, even though seated, uses a motion similar to walking.  For those who don't remember walking is what you do when nobody else is around to get your Cheese Doodles and beer.  Somehow, through an amazing feat of that magical German engineering, this motion is transferred to the wheels.  It seems there is a chain and some foot "pedals" involved.  According to our sources (not too mention that guy in the white coat that keeps going on and on about our blood pressure, weight and cholesterol level, I think his name is Doctor) this movement is supposed to be healthy, as well.  
Meet the new "car."

But, as with all new technology, there are some bugs to work out, here is our reporters initial filing.

I went for a 'bike ride,' which was sort of scary at first, but little by little I got more comfortable. I was riding on 'bike' paths, but the problem is people also walk in the 'bike' paths, so you have to get good at dodging them. It always makes me nervous and my 'bike' gets a bit wobbly as a result."

If you need to travel a great distance this method would not make much sense, but, and here, according to our reporter, is another bit of German ingenuity, you ride the "bike" to a "station" where a big car, a really big car (called either a bus, or a train, we are not sure, there is some confusion in the report, and we are working to clarify), which holds a lot of people will take you and your bike, to a spot much closer to your destination, and your "bike" will do the rest.  Amazing, huh?

Anyway, it seems this new technology will improve health, reduce greenhouse gases, and dependency on fossil fuels, as well as traffic jams, and the hypertension those cause.  It cost so little there is no need to borrow, and make payments.  Maintenance is fairly simple, and can be done in apartment.  Who wouldn't be in favor of something with such promise and potential, something that makes so much sense.  Besides oil and pharmaceutical companies and car manufacturers, but they probably don't have much say in American politics.


  1. I don't know. That seems hard.

    - Skeptical Buckeye

  2. These are difficult times, filled with terrible choices, leading to dire consequences, and awful and painful, frightening destinies. Hey, what I meant was, it is hard at first, but it gets better, after the numbness sets in,