Monday, a day of... well you decide.

We survived another weekend, and made it safely through to Monday.  It wasn't easy, and there were several close calls, but we are all back, safely, at work, here at the Top Secret Life Explained headquarters. Now that we have put all of that ugly freedom, and indulgence behind us we can get back to work.

Once the lawn was mowed it was as though time had stopped. There was nothing to justify our existence. Wandering from one pleasant experience to the next was torture. A void raged across the face of our world, consuming all in it's path. Nothing but light, casual conversation, and relaxed attitudes.

A walk through the park, filled with the joyful sound of laughing, playing children, who can endure those things.  Everywhere you looked, smiling, happy youth, and energy rushing with glee from one activity to the next.  It was so distracting. No structure, no framework, no guidance.

It would not have been so bad but the weather was perfect, sunny, warm, and wonderful. It was a little sickening. Grilling some chicken last night, with a drink of tequila, and a Dos Equis to celebrate Cinco De Mayo*, sitting next to a gorgeous, charming woman was almost more than we should be asked to tolerate.

But, at last we are back to the grindstone, working, producing, taking care of things.  Under the florescent lights, sounds muffled by the oppressive expectations of working for a living. Answering the alarm clock, rising early, and going to work.  Ah, the joys of responsibility, and the pleasure of being held accountable...

Wait, what the hell is going on here!?!?!?  Hey, find out who typed that first part and send them to the infirmary.  Better yet, send them to the psychiatrist. Or, better still fire them, they are obviously a danger to themselves and everybody else.

We will now return you to our regularly scheduled programming.






*Yes we know we were technically celebrating Tres De Mayo, but a busy schedule, and the security requirements of working for a top secret research and development facility require the alteration of certain laws of time and space.**

**Not really.

The Results Are In.

Today, I have good news and bad news.  the good news is, the results of the Facebook Psychological Tests are in and according to the reports I am completely normal, well adjusted, and average in almost every way.

The bad news is, you may have a few problems.  I don't want to go into any details, but according to Facebook you might be full goose bozo, and they would like me to ask if you are still taking your medication.

According to preliminary reports, and these are still being collated, and analyzed, you are not dangerous, at least not too dangerous, but if you could give a responsible person all of your knives, letter openers, scissors, and your shoelaces, and the drawstrings from your sweatpants that might be a good idea.

Also, they wanted you to know that a haircut might not be a bad idea, and maybe a new shirt or two.  Plus, you might be a little too old to be eating Cap'n Crunch for dinner, and lunch, and a snack.

Facebook does want you to know they do love you, and are only telling you these things to help, feeling it is so much better to hear it from an old friend than some new kid, like Pinterest, or Yelp, who may not care about your feelings.

Facebook would like me to tell you, together we can get through this, stronger, better, and a lot less crazy, if you are willing to put forth just a little effort.  They did their part, right?