Sometimes things work out, sometimes not.

Pablo Picasso said "every act of creation is first an act of destruction." We wish we would have read that before writing our mission statement, or negotiated our insurance. It explains so much, like the time we accidentally set off the nuclear weapon trying to clean the hallway on the 7th floor.

Never again will we allow the Rotary Club to use the conference room. Man, those guys can party, but since they are all getting older, not very well. Buffalo wing sauce, queso dip and frozen daiquiri debris was scattered from the elevator to the restrooms.

We thought using a small, controlled nuclear reaction to power the carpet cleaner was the only option. It worked splendidly too. Until the coolant unit became clogged by tortilla chips and the reactor overheated causing a smallish nuclear incident.

At first we were a little worried about the bad publicity that was sure to come our way. You know how the press can blow a small thing like a radioactive cloud out of proportion.

Turns out, though, the correct mix of tequila, rum, canned cheese, gamma rays and ionizing radiation can actually bring plastic plants to life, even providing them with some rudimentary intelligence, and noticeable personality. The press ate it up. For weeks they were following the plants around, snapping photos, taking videos, loving every second, until the palm tree ate one of the local anchor people. Which was sad. But, they quit coming around, which is good, and kind of sad.

But, that is not what we are here to talk about, What we are here to talk about is the new iPhone 7, and the Galaxy Note 7. Apparently you can drop either one of these phones into the lake, and they will still work, if you can find them. This is an amazing feat, if you are planning on dropping your phone in a lake. If so, we highly recommend rushing out and buying one of these phones right now. Don't pass over any bodies of water on the way, though. Just to be safe.

Monday, a day of... well you decide.

We survived another weekend, and made it safely through to Monday.  It wasn't easy, and there were several close calls, but we are all back, safely, at work, here at the Top Secret Life Explained headquarters. Now that we have put all of that ugly freedom, and indulgence behind us we can get back to work.

Once the lawn was mowed it was as though time had stopped. There was nothing to justify our existence. Wandering from one pleasant experience to the next was torture. A void raged across the face of our world, consuming all in it's path. Nothing but light, casual conversation, and relaxed attitudes.

A walk through the park, filled with the joyful sound of laughing, playing children, who can endure those things.  Everywhere you looked, smiling, happy youth, and energy rushing with glee from one activity to the next.  It was so distracting. No structure, no framework, no guidance.

It would not have been so bad but the weather was perfect, sunny, warm, and wonderful. It was a little sickening. Grilling some chicken last night, with a drink of tequila, and a Dos Equis to celebrate Cinco De Mayo*, sitting next to a gorgeous, charming woman was almost more than we should be asked to tolerate.

But, at last we are back to the grindstone, working, producing, taking care of things.  Under the florescent lights, sounds muffled by the oppressive expectations of working for a living. Answering the alarm clock, rising early, and going to work.  Ah, the joys of responsibility, and the pleasure of being held accountable...

Wait, what the hell is going on here!?!?!?  Hey, find out who typed that first part and send them to the infirmary.  Better yet, send them to the psychiatrist. Or, better still fire them, they are obviously a danger to themselves and everybody else.

We will now return you to our regularly scheduled programming.






*Yes we know we were technically celebrating Tres De Mayo, but a busy schedule, and the security requirements of working for a top secret research and development facility require the alteration of certain laws of time and space.**

**Not really.