2016 The Predictions, Not for the squeamish.

We, here at Life Explained, Central Ohio (LEHELLNO) would like to offer a short apology. This post is a little later than we would have liked. Since this is the 2016 prediction issue, (bought to you by Ted's Classic Cuts in Gahanna Ohio, where they cut hair) we wanted to get this out a little earlier. Unfortunately time travel is a tricky thing, and three people who went into the future to see what happened were never heard from again.

Thank goodness we were smart enough not to tell anybody about this or volunteers might have been a little scarce. Finally the 4th person we sent, Bob from IT, finally managed to send a text.  It was not very informative, but it was enough.

We managed to access his Go Pro and stream some video, and while it was not promising there were a few bright spots. We should tell everybody what to expect. Out of respect for Bob, and the other three guys, whose names escape me for the moment.

The year will start with market instability as the world wrestles with turmoil, terrorism, floods, mudslides, and unusual weather patterns.

February brings good news, as Apple, Google, and Microsoft finally quit swinging their purses at each other. Working together they manage to make a series of devices that will share music, photos, data, voice, and video seamlessly. And each carries the capacity to be a wifi transmitter. Peace reigns as the world watches cut cat videos, and reads hilarious memes.

Sadly it is short lived. March brings our first encounter with an alien life form. Terror, and panic take possession of humanity, and people begin to lose hope. Fortunately, the aliens are just traveling around the universe selling magazine subscriptions, so they pose no real threat, and nobody subscribes to any magazines.

Unfortunately, the appearance of an alien life form causes political and religious upheaval on a catastrophic scale.

People start breaking into small, heavily armed groups, battling for supremacy. The world is plunged into chaos, as fighting intensifies everywhere. Disease, famine, starvation become the norm as people struggle to cope with the existence of an alien life form.

After that the video begins to break up, and all we can hear is the sound of cursing, and screaming. It might have to do with March Madness, and the national championship in basketball. We aren't sure. As soon as we know we will pass it along.

Anyway, have a nice month, or two, and stock up on bottled water and canned vegetables they will be like gold soon.

Happy New Year, well, that is up to you.

We, here at Life Explained (#lifeexplained) are working around the clock to bring you the New Year (#haveagreatnewyear), on time and under budget.  It has been a very busy year, many great things, many less than great things, and a few really bad things, have happened around here this year.  But, you deserve a New Year (#haveahappynewyear), and it shouldn't cost a cent more than the agreed upon price.

Of course, the cost of raw materials has increased dramatically.  Many people feel that the increase is caused by several third world countries deciding to have a Happy New Year, so there is more competition for the resources required.  And moving those raw materials from place to place is hideously expensive, too.  But, we are willing to bear the increased expense to bring you the best New Year (#newyear) money can buy, don't worry that most of it will be our money.

We are not even going to raise the subject of labor costs...  Oops, I guess we already raised the subject.  Well, since we are talking about it anyway, it takes a lot of man hours and woman hours, (it takes absolutely no children hours, so anybody from the National Labor Relations Board, or the United State Department of Labor who happen to be looking, look elsewhere) to construct a decent New Year (#newyearyeahright).  But, we have your backs, and will pay the wages, compensation, bonuses, payroll taxes, insurance premiums, and other costs associated with the project.

It is vital to craft the New Year (#newyearwhocares) skillfully, and with quality components.  We only have to look back on 1988, that year was built with inferior,second hand supplies, by temporary employees working out of a condemned building on the Great Malting Peninsula in Pocatello, Idaho.  We all remember what a disaster that was.  1989 (which was no picnic) looked good just because it wasn't 1988.  People were dancing in the streets, singing "Gonna party like it's 1989," which later became a very popular song for an artist who was known as Prince, then was known as an artist formerly known as Prince, but is now an artist who is known as Prince, or possibly an artist who was formerly known as an artist formerly known... Anyway, he took a good idea and made it better, and harmonious, and musical, and profitable.

There is no need to worry, though, we here at Life Explained, (#priceexplained) are committed to making 2015 a good year, no matter how much it costs, within reason, of course.  We will spare no expense, for the most part, to bring you the best available year.  We are willing to go as far as we have to, as long as it is not too far, to produce a year that will not be forgotten.  Not "not forgotten" like 1988, either.  

But, if you want to help, (and who doesn't?) we are accepting donations, anything will help.  New Year, it is a precious resource, too valuable to be wasted, too important to ignore, and too expensive to be cheap about, so give generously.

Thank you,

Life Explained.