Everybody needs a back up plan.

It was quite an event when the first star wars movie hit theaters, way back in 1977.  People were thrilled with the special effects, and the drama.  It was a smash hit, with clearly defined, easily identified heroes, outnumbered, out gunned, out space shipped by despicable, power mad villains.

An epic battle ended the movie, when a small force of rebel fighters struggling against astronomical odds managed to find an uncovered, minute exhaust vent.  It seemed desperate, and the heroes were falling like snow in a polar vortex.

However, one pilot, who received his training when he used "to bullseye womp rats," on his home planet of Tatooine.  It really did not look promising at this point.  People wanted to leave the theater, it was almost impossible to believe this wet behind the ears kid, who used to bullseye womp rats, was going to blow up a battle ship the size of a planet!

But, something wonderful happened.  Using an ancient practice of unbelievable power and proportion he managed to drop a couple of photon torpedoes, (wait, that might be Star Trek, let me check my facts here real quick, it was proton torpedoes), proton torpedoes right down that exhaust port, blowing up the Death Star, and winning fame, fortune, cash, and the friendship of a Princess, and a callous, crusty, but lovable smuggler and his huge hairy friend.

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With this book you will learn to make people think they are looking for some other droids, not yours.   Impress your friends by holding your large, heavy X-wing fighter aloft for several minutes.

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Not for angry people, people whose mothers have been taken by sand people, or people who are fond of the dark side.  Not responsible for any terrible, disfiguring accidents caused by uncontrolled rage, or terrible battles in a fiery droid manufacturing facility.

A world gone mad.

Recently fans of the cult television show Dr. Who clashed with fans of the blockbuster movie Star Wars at a convention in the UK.  Though, it sounds suspiciously like clashed may be a little too strong of a word, the local police were called and order was restored when the two groups were told to "keep out of each others way."

Problems seemed to begin when the Treasurer of the Norwich Sci Fi club was told to leave while trying to get the autograph of Graham Cole, an English actor who has appeared in multiple episodes of Dr. Who.  Big mistake. According to several self respecting Dr. Who fans, no self respecting Dr. Who fan is going to let one of those Star Wars nerds tell him what to do.

At the same time, it is easy to understand why Star Wars aficionados don't want any of those Dr. Who geeks and their time traveling phone booth messing up a good convention.  After all, they have gone through all of the trouble of assembling and wearing their Storm Trooper costumes, Droid outfits or Jedi robes, complete with light saber, and then some guy shows up in street clothes, acting all suave, and British.  There is bound to be some resentment.

Of course, there are reports of a long running feud between the Norwich Dr. Who Fans and the Norwich Star Wars fans.  Which could spell big trouble for Norwich. Or, maybe the entire universe, so there is quite a bit at stake here.

George Lucas was not available for comment.

Meanwhile, in Berlin the opening of a Barbie Berlin Dream house has caused quite an uproar.  There is  much anger about the giant, pink dream house complete with virtual cupcakes, and virtual Ken outside the virtual window, washing the virtual car.  People are virtually incensed.

One "Anti Barbie Protester" (that is not a typo, there are "Anti Barbie Protesters") was so mad she nailed a real Barbie (a real Barbie doll, not a "real" Barbie person) to a real wooden cross, and burned it in a giant, pink shoe (probably not real).  Wanting to prove that women were not going to objectified, or leered at, on her watch, she performed the ritual sacrifice topless.

Mobilizing right now is the "Occupy Barbie Dream House" movement, (not a typo, either) who are not going to quit, or shower, until this situation is remedied.  It goes without saying that I did not make it far enough through the article to find out what the situation was or how the remedy would be applied.

One thing is certain, though, there is a lot of turmoil in the world and sometimes we all need a safe place to hide from the madness, the cruelty, the inexplicable.   You are always welcome here, my friends, and it will always be free, remember, you get what you pay for.