If it isn't one thing, it is bats.

Shortly after I got to work this morning one of my co-workers came up to me and said "there is a bird flying around in here." This is not unusual, it is an old building and somehow birds seem to be able to infiltrate the perimeter at will.

Here is the bad bit, though. As I watched the intruder float around the building I realized my co-worker was woefully mistaken.

"A bird, my achin' behind," I said, "that's a bat." 

I'm not sure the severity of the news was clear to her. She is an immigrant from a former Soviet Bloc country and her English, while remarkable for a woman who made so many drastic adjustments, does not always allow for the subtle nuances of American colloquialisms. She went back to work, unfazed by the threat.

I don't have the list of things to worry about in front of me right now. But, bats are certainly on there, Somewhere between Armadillo borne leprosy, and Hantavirus fever from mice. The ranking is close, and it is almost impossible to say where they fall in the list of potential disasters, but they are all high enough to warrant serious concern.

I saw a movie one time where bats ate people. Vampires are closely associated with bats, and that spells trouble. In several cultures bats are considered terrible, frightening, omens of death and carnage I can't remember which cultures, but you can trust me on this. So, there is a strong case against these winged demons.

When our numbers were sufficient we armed ourselves with several large, sturdy cartons and went to find the little monster. But, he was too cagey, to sly, and had managed to give us the slip. I am sure he is back at his camp, reporting our numbers, tactics, strategies, and disposition. We are only days away from invasion.

Maybe I should find a new job.  

A Security Issue Delayed.

During the early days of Life Explained, when things were hectic, innovation rampant, excitement, and invention epidemic the principals knew they needed to be careful.  It was an exciting time, but it was balanced by the knowledge that achievement and advancement carried a terrible cost, and invoked an awesome responsibility.

It was vital that the hard won accomplishments not fall into the wrong hands, and it was well known that the "wrong hands" would press hard to acquire the fruits of  their labors.  Knowing that the world was only one break in, one leaked document, one errant email containing crucial information from all of the power needed to end hunger, cure illness, and finally achieve parity in professional sports... wait, that was not what they were afraid of, it was the destruction of the planet that bothered them.  

Nobody minded that other stuff, sure, nobody wanted to just give it away, but, profit is what drives commerce, right?  And commerce is what fuels growth, isn't it?  And growth is what provides the resources necessary for research and development, is that not true?  And research and development is what provides the product needed for profit, you see?  So, making money is truly the greatest act of philanthropy, and that is what the company is built around.

"We'll take two of the large, three mediums
and six of the small ones, please"

It is a sad reality, though, that when they developed the technology to end hunger, eradicate disease, and help society pull itself from the brink of extinction, and approached various world governments with the opportunity to buy this wonderful ability they got the cold shoulder.  World governments all said some variation of, "thanks, that stuff is all good, and someday we would like to look into it a little more, but, do you have anything that will blow up a lot of our enemies?"

Of course, the governments all agreed that they did not want to really blow up a lot of people, they just wanted the "capability" (they all felt the "ability" was too wimpy sounding to be a credible threat) to blow up a lot of their enemies, that way they could lord it over other countries.  Threatening to blow up a lot of people, it turns out, is one of the chief activities of organized government.  Well, back to the drawing board. 

But, that is not what this is about, this is about the Life Explained security personnel fiasco, the abuse of power, and the corruption of humanity.  Unfortunately, we don't have time to cover that today.  Please tune in tomorrow for "Company Cops Gone Wild," or "do you have a valid need to be in this hallway, or shall we turn the fire hose on you?"  You want to be there for that.