A Security Issue Delayed.

During the early days of Life Explained, when things were hectic, innovation rampant, excitement, and invention epidemic the principals knew they needed to be careful.  It was an exciting time, but it was balanced by the knowledge that achievement and advancement carried a terrible cost, and invoked an awesome responsibility.

It was vital that the hard won accomplishments not fall into the wrong hands, and it was well known that the "wrong hands" would press hard to acquire the fruits of  their labors.  Knowing that the world was only one break in, one leaked document, one errant email containing crucial information from all of the power needed to end hunger, cure illness, and finally achieve parity in professional sports... wait, that was not what they were afraid of, it was the destruction of the planet that bothered them.  

Nobody minded that other stuff, sure, nobody wanted to just give it away, but, profit is what drives commerce, right?  And commerce is what fuels growth, isn't it?  And growth is what provides the resources necessary for research and development, is that not true?  And research and development is what provides the product needed for profit, you see?  So, making money is truly the greatest act of philanthropy, and that is what the company is built around.

"We'll take two of the large, three mediums
and six of the small ones, please"

It is a sad reality, though, that when they developed the technology to end hunger, eradicate disease, and help society pull itself from the brink of extinction, and approached various world governments with the opportunity to buy this wonderful ability they got the cold shoulder.  World governments all said some variation of, "thanks, that stuff is all good, and someday we would like to look into it a little more, but, do you have anything that will blow up a lot of our enemies?"

Of course, the governments all agreed that they did not want to really blow up a lot of people, they just wanted the "capability" (they all felt the "ability" was too wimpy sounding to be a credible threat) to blow up a lot of their enemies, that way they could lord it over other countries.  Threatening to blow up a lot of people, it turns out, is one of the chief activities of organized government.  Well, back to the drawing board. 

But, that is not what this is about, this is about the Life Explained security personnel fiasco, the abuse of power, and the corruption of humanity.  Unfortunately, we don't have time to cover that today.  Please tune in tomorrow for "Company Cops Gone Wild," or "do you have a valid need to be in this hallway, or shall we turn the fire hose on you?"  You want to be there for that.

Technology Marches Onward, And Inward.

Recently, Google Glasses went on sale.  People snapped them up.  Of course, there were some people whose vanity made them wait for the release of Google Contacts.  A very unique computational device guaranteed to increase productivity, allowing us to spend  more time developing close, lasting relationships with our families.  Not really, to heck with that, who wants to have a meaningful, thought provoking conversation with their loved ones when they can play Tetris by tapping themselves on the side of the head.  This is only the beginning, though.

Technology lovers are already putting a down payment on their Google Implants.  Tiny devices placed in the base of the skull, that respond to electronic signals from the cerebral cortex.  Beaming data through the ocular canal these microscopic devices generate a holographic image several feet in front of the user.   Of course, you will need to control what you are thinking, trials have led to embarrassing consequences.  One test subject lost his job when an image of his bosses head on the see, hear, speak no evil monkeys materialized in the center of the table during a routine meeting to discuss new "protocols restricting the posting of unauthorized signage, including the hanging of 'gonna get my drink on' signs above the coffee maker and water cooler."

Of course, the real excitement is for products still being developed.  Just wait until you try the new Google Epidermis, which will provide real time data to the user regarding temperature, wind speed and directions, and the availability of WiFi hot spots.  It will also react to the users condition, mood ring like, to indicate any number of variables, including emotional disposition, blood pressure, and serum cholesterol, eliminating the need for blood tests.  Plus, you will be able to watch movies and television shows on the palm of your hand.  It is not yet approved for use in "water situations."  Poor Steve found that out the hard way during his beta test, the services are scheduled for next Tuesday.  He is a brilliant shade of turquoise, absolutely brilliant.

What is generating the real excitement however, is Google Internal Organs.  We are not allowed to say too much about this project, but you will never have to say "I'm hungry, but I don't know what I want," again.  Now you will know exactly what you want, where to find it, and the best mode of transportation.  With future updates you will know the nutritional value in comparison to the caloric intake, and which members of your Google + circles enjoy similar foods, and which are hungry now, so you won't have to eat alone.

Don't forget to tune in tomorrow for the next installment of "Wow, where can I get one?"  when we review smart phone apps to summon the dead, is it a good idea?