Music, the Grammys, and and Ingenuity.

According to Variety Sunday night's Grammy Award Show hit a 6 year low.  With an 8.5 rating in adults 18 to 49 and 25.3 million viewers the show was down 14% from last year.  This is significant.  With the shifting logistics of music delivery the economics of the industry are changing.  Pharrell Williams' song "Happy" (one of the most popular, catchy, cheerful songs ever written) was played 43 million times in the first quarter of 2014 on Pandora paying a tidy little sum of $2700.00.  This can not make him very happy.  Obviously, music needs to find new ways to attract an audience, and stay solvent.

Kanye West has been making repeated attempts to liven up the ceremony.  Inject a little life into the staid, lifeless proceedings only to be spurned by the very industry he is struggling to save.  However, there is some movement at the top.

There are plans to the song of the year award decided in a "Survivor" style competition.  Singers will need to crawl across a rope bridge suspended over a pit filled with ice water (filtered, carbonated mineral water, of course) while singing the nominated composition.  Competitors will try to knock them off of the bridge by hurling insults, slander, recriminations, and tennis balls.  The contestant who crosses the pit the quickest will receive immunity, and be allowed to choose the competition used to decide the Grammy for New Artist of the year.  There is even talk of having the oscar winners face the grammy winners in a paintball contest.  This is very exciting, but that is only the beginning.

Hulk Hogan is going to give out the Grammy for Artist of the Year.  When the award is handed out Nature Boy Rick Flair is going to come storming in Stage Left, and smash a chair over the head of...  Wait, I can't tell you who is going to win the Grammy, contractual obligations.  Flair will climb up on the top rope, leap down and deliver a "Devastating Flying Body Slam of Doom" just as the grammy winner rolls from the ring, and is replaced by The Rock, who smiles winningly at the audience, while delivering a "The Peoples Elbow" to the prone Rick Flair, and accepting the award on behalf of the incapacitated recipient, whose identity is secret.  You are going to want to tune in for that.

Things seem to be in good hands.  Another national industry saved from financial collapse by solid American Know How, and a can do it spirit.  It brings a tear to the eye.

Grammys for Everybody

Last night was the annual presentation of the grammys.  It is a show that lasts a long time, and is filled with song and dance, and awards being given.  Apparently the awards are given based on..., they are given to people who..., they are earned by...  Honestly, I am not sure how they are awarded, and honestly I don't even know who won these awards.  I didn't watch.

It does seem that some people are upset about who won certain awards.  But, it would be difficult to choose an award winner without some quantifiable standards.  And music, really art of any type would fall into that category.  How do you judge Artist of the Year?  It has to be personal taste, and everybody knows how fickle that can be.

Obviously, there is no way to choose that one album, song, singer, or band to be "album, song, singer, or band of the year" without making somebody unhappy.  Of course, no matter what tastes you have, or opinion you hold about a type of music, or a particular singer, or band, anybody who has following enough to qualify for inclusion deserves something.

In these times, with the tension, and turmoil, coursing through society we should look more at a participation trophy.  "We would like to start this years show with the Artist of the Year," and everybody in the audience would walk single file up to the stage, and collect their artist of the year trophy.

Nobody would get their feelings hurt, nobody would feel left out, and we could eliminate a lot of speeches.  Speeches that can be a little tiring, maybe a little preachy, and sometimes can be freighted and irritating.  Everybody wins, everybody  is happy, and some lucky trophy maker makes some serious dinero.

Sponsors could offset the cost of trophies.  "The Arby's Reuben Artist of the Year Trophy, bought to you by Arby's Reuben Sandwich, with a side of potato cakes, and a cold drink all for $5.99*"

Imagine how happy the viewers will be, watching from home, a big bowl of potato chips, a glass of iced tea, and the television remote, when they can leap to their feet, screaming with joy "I knew (insert favorite singer here) would win!"  Snacks and drinks flying everywhere.  A scene repeated across the country, as one happy person follows another celebrating the righteous triumph of artistic endeavor.

You know, this is such a good idea, we should start thinking about foreign policy.  Imagine the potential.



*Not the Real Price, well, it might be the real price, we aren't sure,if it is right please
let us know, we have no plans for lunch.

Today, and a little yesterday, and maybe some tomorrow.

With the new year already almost two weeks old, it is time to review, many things have happened, and many things haven't.  It is vital to understand the difference.  Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it, and if the past hasn't happened yet then it is probably the future, but if it is happening right now, it might be the present, but soon will become the past, and every thing you learned studying current events in high school should have probably been covered in history class.  But, if they had cool people in the curriculum department they would teach "future events" now that is class we could really get on board with.  Imagine the potential, a teacher telling you what was going to...  Anyway, you probably get the idea.

Readings in Fahrenheit, to convert
to Celsius move to Europe.

The big event was the polar vortex.  Obviously, this is a direct result of the war on Christmas, we did warn you that Santa was fighting back.  It was a bad idea, and now it has spilled over into January, sort of a guerrilla action by the North Pole, kind of a parting shot, letting everyone know who is really the Big Kahuna.  Santa knows who has been naughty, and who has been nice.  So, if you lived in an area that saw frigid, bitter cold, winds chills, ice storms, snow storms, or bizarre meteorological occurrences of any kind, that probably spells big trouble for you next December 25th.  Santa has a keen memory, and he brooks no insubordination.  

Big, Important Award,
of some type, for somebody.

Of course there was some good news, there was the Grammys, or the Oscars, or the People's Choice Award, or the SAG awards or the Tonies, or the Golden Globes, or something like that, but it was hosted by hilarious people and featured talented musicians and singers performing their monster hits, and the audience was filled with beautiful women, and handsome men dressed so fashionably it would make a grown man weep, and possibly install a strip of red carpet, and a few high intensity lights in his garage, so every time he came home he could feel good about himself..., not that we would know anything about that.  And it was just the first of many, so settle into your recliner, grab some popcorn, and a drink and get ready to watch some people who make a kings ransom, get some awards, and make some speeches.  What a way to spend an evening, huh?

The NFL playoffs are here, and every weekend two groups of people will watch the same contest, and walk away with completely different opinions of the officiating.  There is, of course, the opportunity for unlimited advertising potential completely overlooked.  Race car drivers are walking advertisements, hotels, motor oils, shoes, snack crackers, anybody with a few bucks to kick in can put a tiny patch on a fire proof jump suit, and almost be seen by race fans the world over.  Imagine "today's officiating crew bought to you by Bob's house o' Vision, where no line bifocals are always only $129.99 and the Eye Exam is always free."  Half the fans would think, "that Bob, he sure knows his no line bifocals."

What will happen with the rest of the year, who knows, but there will be some good stuff, some bad stuff, and a lot stuff that defies explanation.  But, we here at Life Explained will always do our best to explain it, an exercise in futility, maybe, but futile exercising is better than no exercising, right?