Working out for Everybody.

Wednesday night at the gym they had the community outreach program. An occasional, seemingly random event where people can come and try out the facility while enjoying a glass of lemonade or fruit infused ice water, and a soft, thick, doughy delicious cookie.

It's really kind of funny, people come, look around and don't go anywhere near the weights or cable machines. They don't swim, or play basketball. None of them use the track, or the rowing machines, placed so conveniently around the windows looking into the pool for the added realism of rowing near water. They wander around as if it were a sale filled with things they weren't particularly interested in but still hoping to find a treasure.

My wife and I went about our workout, a little lifting, a lot of walking, and a chance to talk about our day. We talk with a few people, gym friends, and the time is relaxing and invigorating in its own way. She left and I used the elliptical machine, took a shower.

When I was leaving there were a whole group of people enjoying the cookies and drinks from the table set up too close to the exit to be practical. There was no room to effect my escape. I filled a plastic cup with iced water and waited for a break in the smiling, cheerful crowd. It always makes me happy to see so many people with no real connection standing together in a good natured mob, no friction, no tension.

Finally a break, and I followed a group of Muslim women, dressed in jilbabs, long flowing dresses that run from head to toe, leaving only their face and hands exposed. They were carrying little plastic cups of water, and their children ran ahead of them, laughing and playing. One of them saw me following closely behind, and held the first, the inner, door for me.

"Allow me." I said, taking the door, and holding it open. They all laughed and smiled at me, saying something in a broken English that I couldn't understand. It seemed to be a long, exaggerated thanks. And we repeated the same act at the outer door. They all smiled at me and laughed and went their way. Whatever they had done, whatever they had tried, they enjoyed themselves, they had been made to feel welcome and wanted, our gym is very inclusive. And it showed in their faces. It wasn't probably the way they were always treated.

And I watched them all the way to their car, an old Toyota Sienna, heard their laughter, and their joy. The excited, ecstatic cries of their children, as they piled in, almost a clown car in reverse, and it made me happy.

I wondered how much they had sacrificed to come to America. What they left behind, what they had
given up without any hope of ever finding again. I see their husbands driving cabs down by the convention center. Working as dishwashers, anything to make a living, chase the American dream. And I thought we should welcome them. More than anybody they want to be here, they only want safety and security for their families. "Still, from near and far to seek America, they come by thousands." We should be proud to call them Americans.

Relaxing, My Way.

Sometimes you just need to forget about life for awhile. Sometimes you just need an escape that is deep, and beautiful and carefree. Sometimes things just get so complicated you need to "bust a move on outta there."

I like to go to the gym. Lifting weights, cardio the mechanics of exertion, sweat, these are anesthesia to the soul. Plug in some music, and forget about your troubles 12 repetitions at a time. I use the strain to unwind, break free from my day, drift, no purpose, no promise, just me and the machine, or kettle ball, or free weights in harmony. Symbiosis as exercise. It is almost beautiful.

In the back, though, it is not peaceful. It is where the serious lifters practice their discipline. Big, strong young people, muscular, defined and dedicated, this is where they work out. It is filled with the sound of weighted plates clanging onto barbells. Crash, slam. Grunts echo from the area. Odd, aggressive encouragement sounds a cadence for the supreme effort.

"C'mon, once more!" Leaning right over the prone figure, flat on the bench, struggling mightily to lift that huge weight one last time. It always seems angry, and I half expect the motivation to be followed by a string of unprintable insults. "C'mon, once more, you #$%cki#g p2$$y." It hasn't yet. It is almost always followed by a loud explosion of sound as the barbell is dropped, and the lifter and hostile sounding cheerleader/weight lifting assistant celebrate the success. "Yeah!" Slaps on the back, high fives, and other congratulatory sounds.

They use the gym for gains, the thrill of growth, almost a conquering of yesterday's achievement. I envy their dedication, but I could never do that. They work hard. And long. And it shows. I am only their long enough to shake off the day.

I like to kayak. Paddling and floating, temporarily, away from the life's troubles. Perspective is different on the water. It is quiet on a kayak, the blades splashing gently, sometimes the paddle sits in your lap, and the boat cruises almost soundless.

There are parts of the world that can only be seen from the water. Last week we went to a new launch
site. Arriving early it was quiet and there were fewer people. Just south of the ramp (really just a sandy, gentle incline) was an island. Paddling around the farthest point we saw a dead tree standing slightly taller than the other trees. Sitting all over the top of the bleached white skeleton were probably thirty or forty birds, big birds, ospreys I think. It was a wonderful sight, but you would never see it from shore.

Kayaking is an odd pastime. I see people who look as though they have been kayaking forever in small, inexpensive looking boats. Paddling, turning, comfortable, they are experienced, natural. And I see people who look as if they have never launched with boats that easily cost $1400.00, and they look miserable on the water. Even with peddle drive and a rudder, they just look out of place. Ours were a couple of end of the season bargain cave beauties that float, steer and help us unwind. They maybe the last "yaks" we ever buy.

Life is nothing more than a series of choices. I try to choose to be happy whenever I can. That is the only advice I have. It seems silly, almost sixty years old and I still don't know anything.

Somehow, this song seems appropriate for this post.

Videos, Hot Tuna and Memorial Day, Life is alright.

One week from today, actually a week from Monday, is Memorial Day. It is a very solemn day for many good reasons. Most of which I ignore, I am excited by the three day weekend. I like my job, and right now it is pretty easy, but a three day weekend is a gift from the gods of leisure. It is a holiday provided through the beneficence of the US government, which almost makes me a little sorry for all of the bad things I've said about them over the years, almost.

But, my plans involve yard work, a trip to the gym, and a new video about going to the gym.  I have been working on the various sequences, and effects, and transitions.  It is going to be great, I just bought The Greatest Hits by Hot Tuna. So there will be cool music, if you like Hot Tuna.

Speaking of Hot Tuna, Jorma Kaukonen is from Ohio, and runs a guitar camp in southern Ohio. Which is cool if you want to play guitar with a legend and you can make it to southern Ohio.

Another interesting Hot Tuna fact, one time time when were visiting family in Sioux City Iowa, and we were staying at the Stony Creek hotel. We happened to be there during a festival, I think it is called Awesome Biker Nights, and Hot Tuna was playing at the festival, and stayed in the same hotel. Which is kind of cool.

I went to get some ice, and actually saw them come in to the lobby. It was a little sad, because they could hardly walk, they looked exhausted, touring as often and as long as they have takes a toll I guess. Still it was cool, if you like Hot Tuna, and happened to be in the lobby. If you were I didn't see you, sorry about that I wasn't ignoring you.

So, I will be busy as will Jorma Kaukonen, and I am sure you have things to do. But, if you see me say hello, and if you are Jorma Kaukonen thanks for all the great music, maybe I will run into you again, and that would be very cool.

The Year in review, part 1. I am really starting to enjoy these multipart posts

We are going to take a few days off from the endless story of a Christmas Tale, which turned into a battle of good vs. evil, the endless struggle of man, and supernatural beings, tackling the problems associated with rampant automation, employee apathy, and corporate corruption (how did this happen, anyway?). It is really a timeless tale, but, we need a little break. Plus, I am working on the next image on Bitstrips, which is a gas, and may revolutionize blogging.

Instead we are going to do a year in review. Life Explained, Ohio Office (OHHELLNO) looks back on 2015.

As far as anybody around here remembers 2015 started in January. But, it was a long time ago. We are searching for proof, but nobody can find a calendar, so we are not going to make any bold declarations. We think the year started in January.

Which, oddly enough, was when I started going to the gym, and it was filled with people. Lycra clad, colorful, groups of people who moved in unison, amoeba like, from area to area, talking and chatting, laughing, and having a good time.

Then came February, the cold, short month, where we celebrate Saint Valentines Day.* And the

crowd of people at the gym disappeared, and many days I was the only person in the place. It had become the Life Explained Memorial Gym.

March, Since I became a workout guy, I went to the Arnold Festival at the Columbus Convention Center. Plus, in one of the highlights of my life, we went to an NCAA tournament game. Oklahoma beat Dayton at Nationwide Arena. It was fantastic.

April, May, we think, were pretty uneventful. It seems something happened in there somewhere, but darned if we can remember what it was.


June, and we took a trip to the Black Hills, and that was cool.

July, August, September, where kind of a blur. November and December, it is hard to look at them in the past, so we are going to pretend they don't exist, kind of like evidence that disproves anything we believe.


* Who has negotiated a prominent part in the Christmas Tale gone awry. Depending on how you define prominent.

Take My Advice, That is My Advice

My gym, technically not my gym, (but sometimes it is so empty that it might as well be my gym) is located in the school building where my wife works. It is kind of small, and has limited equipment, but employees, their spouses and retired employees can use it for free. Someday I may outgrow it and have to move up to a membership gym, but until then I love the place. There are weights in there I have yet to lift.

Since it is so small just a few extra people can seem like a crowd. And a couple of times a year there are several extra people. Right after New Year there is always a big crowd, people who have decided to really whip themselves into shape this year. I always root for them, silently, hoping they have the fortitude, and desire to stay the course. But, by the end of February they have thinned out, and it becomes the Life Explained Memorial Gymnasium again. It is nice to have the place to myself, but the promises dying makes a sad sound.

When school starts there is always a wave of fitness seekers. It is mostly young teachers, and they are young, brash, and confident. It is a magic time and I feed off their enthusiasm. Waves of enthusiasm flood the small room, you can almost see the good cheer. They come in together, talking, smiling, joyful, and it really boosts the atmosphere. Soon the groups get smaller, and then stop altogether. It makes me a little melancholy, like losing a friend.

But, I keep going, and think to myself, if these people would commit a few more weeks, they would understand the way it makes life seem a little better, things are a little easier when you exercise regularly. Last time I had my blood pressure tested it was 121 over 71!  I was walking on air!

Here is my advice, exercise, regularly, and you will feel like Richard Thompson and me.

Patty Smyth tried to kill me.

After two weeks of vacation, endless hours sitting in the car, not eating as well as I should have, and not exercising at all it was back to the gym last night.  Since it was kind of introductory, I decided to forgo the podcasts, and "kick out the jams, brothers, and sisters."*

Hitting the treadmill, starting slowly, Van Morrison singing "Jackie Wilson Said (I"m in Heaven when you smile).  A nice tempo to start, cruising along, me and Van, and when he sang "honey child, you make my day" we were hitting our stride.  Breathing and moving, blood flowing, heart beating, sing it Van!

"True Love" by the Del Lords was next, it was a great way to start the high intensity part of the interval training, and we were cruising.  Turn up the speed, turn up the volume, and go.

"Found a parking spot, all right,
Tonight's gonna be my night."

Man, those guys are great, and when the song ended and the speed was reduced, the heartbeat was up where it should be, and things were great.  It is a song with a driving beat, and a happy, positive message, a song that can make a person smile. It is about a guy who goes to work, comes home, and goes out to find the love of his life. He can "feel it any minute, gonna look up and find a true love." Call me naive, but that kind of hope flying in the face of desperate odds is powerful magic.

The Del Lords write from a variety of places, anger, sadness, desperation, and joy equally well, and they can drive a song with hammering drums, and blazing guitars, and I love those guys.  They are the ultimate in cool.

But, it was time to cool down with the mellow sounds of "One more cup of coffee" from Bob Dylan.  A song about, well who knows what it is about, but the message is universal, undeniable, and customizable.  To this day that song gives me the chills.

Not really my gym, and not really Patty Smyth.

This cycle repeated for twenty minutes, and it seemed wise to finish big.  My last high intensity burst was set to "Goodbye to You" from Patty Smyth and Scandal.  A song written by Zach Smith.  A scathing diatribe against the vanity of mankind, and the excesses of modern relationships.  Yes, it was written and performed in the eighties, but mankind and relationships don't really change much.  And in evolutionary terms, the eighties were only minutes ago, so neither has changed at all.

It is not a long song, less than 4 minutes, so the speed was cranked up on the treadmill, and we were off. Four minutes, at that pace, that far into my first workout back from vacation was like an eternity, and when she sang, "Goodbye to you, so long darling," she could have been talking to me, my life was slipping away, one gasping, painful breath at a time.  The room was getting darker, but that may have been the motion activated lights, since I was the only one there, and I was set to expire.  Maybe the sensors can tell, but that is another blog post.


And, then it hit me, Patty Smyth and Scandal tried to kill me.  It is not clear why, but I forgive them.  Tolerance, acceptance and forgiveness is what makes life worth living.  So, Patty, we are still friends, and you are still one of the greatest voices in music, and I will see you Wednesday, at the gym, earlier in the workout.

*Thank you, Blue Oyster Cult.

Three Months, and Climbing

Last night was the start of the third month of going to the gym.  It has been wonderful!  My youth was an endless cycle of wretched, self-destructive behavior that often manifests itself in unexpected and painful ways.  Yesterday while loading my "gym bag"* I felt a twinge in my lower back, on the left side.  A twinge that turned, quickly, into a pang, and slid right into a debilitating ache of unbelievable agony**

After an internal debate that lasted most of the day I decided to go ahead and hit the gym. Reasoning that I could, at least, do my aerobic workout and then see how I felt. Oddly enough, the treadmill loosened up my sore back. And I managed to get my heart rate up and maintain the level for quite a while. In fact, things were going so well I had to stop and find a pod cast. Honestly, I thought it would be over so quickly that something new was unnecessary. But, soon things felt so good, I was on to "Sparta" from the "In Our Time" podcast series.

I am researching Sparta, and Athens (and the animosity and competition for supremacy that led to the awful excesses of the Peloponnesian war) for my new blog My New History Blog. I really like the "In Our Time" series, it is British, and the accent adds authority, but, the guests always have titles like "Ancient History Chair, at Oxford." So, it is not only the accent that gives the show credibility. Plus, they provide a lot of detail, in a way that keeps moving, and adds life to societies long gone. 

After spending a good deal of time, and a great deal of effort, on the treadmill, I was feeling pretty loose, and ready for some resistance training. Since my back was still a little sore I decided to use the free weights. I have been meaning to branch out a little anyway, and the resistance machines really seem to require a whole body effort. Plus, I read that varying your workout provides increased benefits, so this was the ideal time.

After asking the attendant about the best way to start I jumped right in. Dang, it is a completely different workout! They have no barbells, only dumbbells, but it is crazy how difficult it can be to move those heavy, little units from one place (down by your body, laying on the bench) to the top of a path described by the full extension of your arms. Not only do you have to lift them, you have to control them, they wobble, and twist, and almost seem animated. It is less lifting weights, and more wrestling weights. It is a constant struggle to keep them from taking off and going wherever they want. It was an eye opening experience, and I loved it. This morning, it is still with me, in my shoulders, my sides, and my arms. 

 
I have decided to make free weights part of my weekly routine. And, I have decided to start my history blog with Greece, it was going to start with Egypt, and Thutmose, but since I am in the middle of this podcast, and have a book about the subject, and it is my blog, after all, it will not be chronological, and proceed in a random order. Don't worry, when they publish the book, and make the movie we can arrange it in a more orderly fashion. 

Since I am a "lifter" now I may go to the Arnold Fitness Festival this weekend, so keep your eye open for that post, it will be great, or at least different.

 

 
*Technically, it is a back pack, that pulls duty as my "writers bag" my "travel bag" and occasionally my "photographers bag," though almost all of my photos are taken on my iPhone™ so normally my "photographers bag" is just a pocket.

 
**Well, maybe it wasn't that bad, but it hurt, a lot.