Big news, sooner or later, if we can find it.

It is not the best time to be opening a new production facility, but the old saying there are no mistakes only learning opportunities, and we have learned a lot, more every day.  A constant stream of lessons parading across our desks have given us a unique opportunity to be smarter than we were yesterday. 

Wow, we have learned a lot. Just yesterday we learned about using China plates as Frisbees. It was a wonderfully loud lesson with lots of little lessons wrapped up inside a larger lesson.

For one thing don’t pick up shards of broken plates by grabbing piles of them with your hands. That was a valuable lesson. Another lesson, don’t tell the person who owned the plates how they broke. Wow, that was some lesson. With lots of loud, colorful language. But, that is another story.

Anyway, we opened a new design and production facility in a secret location. It is so secret we can’t even tell you where it isn’t, It might be a clue.  And, most of us don’t know where it is anyway. Though we do know, at least some of us, at least some of the places it isn’t. 

Anyway, we needed someplace to assemble our newest project, which is so secret that most of us

aren’t even too sure what it is. But, it is going to bring in some big money. And critical acclaim, and the adoration of the public at large.

Not all of the public, of course, there are people who won’t be happy. There are always those who disdain progress.  You can’t get please everybody without breaking some eggs, or something like that. We aren’t going to worry about them, or their eggs.

We are excited about the opportunities this provides, if we could remember what it was, or where it was being built. And when we can tell anybody you will be the first to know, right after us. Maybe we should have drawn a map. 

Monday, Your Big Chance?

We, here at Life Explained, are going to start a new movement.  Starting now, next week at the latest, Monday is no longer going to be viewed as a curse, a despicable, reviled demonic visitor from the pits.  It is going to be welcomed as the gracious day that ushers in a beginning, a refreshing chance to start something beautiful.

Life does not often present mortals with opportunities for greatness, and Monday is the perfect chance to leave your co-workers, subordinates, and superiors in the vocational dust.  As they are holding their heads, praying for a quick end to a new day, you can embrace the challenge.  Charge into the midst of the chaos, powering through the doldrums, shining like a beacon of hope for all the company to follow.

Book 1 in the "Who needs 'em" series

Grab the biggest problem you can, wrestle it the floor, and make it plead for mercy, right in the entryway, so everybody can watch.  If sales are stagnant grab the phone, get some people on the hook, and sell some stuff, if production is flagging, grab some tools, some raw materials, and make something.  Rising transportation costs cutting into the bottom line, chewing up profits and spitting out mountains of rising debt, load some stuff up in your car, and make some deliveries. Remember, every little problem you solve is a chance to make an associate look incompetent, slow and foolish.

Use the first day of the week to rise several standard deviations above the mean.  As fellow employees trickle in, tales of two days of independence dripping from their paper coffee cups, look down your nose at them, turn your back and storm off, a trail of efficient, professional scorn settling slowly on their bewildered faces.  

Look, we just want to see you get ahead, that's all.  If the people who work with you can't see your potential that is their problem.  Don't forget our companion book, "Step all over the people your coworkers, it won't get you anywhere, but you will save a bundle on birthday gifts."