Good news, no great news, maybe

All right, I have taken the leap, right from edge of sanity into the smoldering morass of electronic lunacy. I have walked to the edge of common sense and leaped, willingly into the desperate pit of "what have you done?"  I started my own webpage. I know, brash, foolish, possibly suicidal, but it didn't seem too bad.

+Jeremy Crow told me I should take the plunge, and so far he has given me solid advice on blogging, so what the heck, here it is. My Own Web Page. What Mr. Crow probably didn't realize was incompetence and potential failure have never even given me pause. So, now I have a website, and "a burgeoning online business" without ever making a small amount of progress towards any real knowledge or understanding.

I am selling blog posts. If you want a blog post, check out my web page, it says it all. Or at least it says something, and will say a lot more, as soon as I figure out how to add stuff. Which is a lot harder than typing a blog post about starting a website. And I have done both today, so you can trust me on this.

Right now we are celebrating our "grand opening" with a "BNGO" (buy none get one free) offer. That's right folks, you just tell us what you want to blog about and we will do the rest. With pictures and a video, and words, lots of words.

Check out our site, buy our stuff, and send us your money. This whole capitalism thing might not be such a bad idea after all.

Today's post was bought to you by Schmicks Market in Broken Bow*















And today's musical guest is the Michael Stanley Band singing "Let's Hear It." If you can listen to this and not be happier you and I have much different musical taste. We don't blame you, though.

*Not really, but it could be pretty cheaply, Mr. Schmick, with our website and blogging knowledge and your grocery store we could build an empire together.

A new day, and a new chance for a little money

Over the weekend we, here at Life Explained, had an epiphany. It was brought about the by the gross injustice foisted upon the average citizen. It seems that writer +Adele Archer (hereafter referred to as our client) is not allowed to participate in the Wimbledon Tennis Championship. This decision was based solely on the fact that our client never took the time to learn to play tennis. Forgive us if our voice trembles slightly with outrage.

Our crack legal team was so filled with anger they worked around the clock. Finally, churning out an 800 page brief. It was a 200,000 word work of art, conveying the outrage, and indignity suffered since the dawn of organized sports. Covering the terrible victimization of kids who always got picked last for the kick ball team, young men humiliated by their inability to hit a softball, bowlers who could never crack 100, and golfers who could never crack 100 going the other direction.

It addressed the income inequality of the "super athletes" making presidential campaign money, and the average guy busting his hump carrying rocks from one end of the quarry to the other. Sure, being born with an ungodly amount of talent, and working tirelessly to develop the skills should count for something, but this has gone too far.

We demanded justice, our client should be allowed to participate at Wimbledon, if that is her wish. Kids who can't dribble, make a lay-up or turn around without falling over should not be excluded from the fame and riches of the NBA, if that is their dream. Skating should not be a requirement to play in the NHL. Too long have people longed for stardom and riches in this tilted, slanted unfair world.

Unfortunately, the judge said 800 pages, and 200,000 words was too long, and not really brief at all. If we wanted him to consider the case we should make it "a little more brief and a lot less lengthy."

Back to the drawing board. But, our indignation has not wavered, nor has our desire for a little of the gold handed out so easily by the managing entities of professional sports. Nothing a pair of scissors can't fix.

This Life Suck? Don't take chances with the next.

Reincarnations Control, Inc.

Don't wait for life to give you what you "deserve."  Life stinks, and it always has and it always will.  Unless you take control.  Unless you are willing to invest a little in your future, your future life, that is.

Now is the time to take control of your next life, with Reincarnations Control, Inc..  Don't wait, who knows how long you might have.  We are the leading supplier of next life preparation, and option planning.  We know what it takes to get you the life you deserve!

Don't put something so important in the hands of fate, or chance, they are fickle, cruel and cursed with a wicked, bizarre, twisted sense of humor.  They will have you shoveling out horse stalls in the heat of the southwest, they brought you this life, is that what you want?

A little planning (with a minor outlay of capitol) will make sure when you come back you will have looks, wealth, charm, wit, fame, respect, popularity, happiness, personality, shiny lustrous hair, all of the things you lack now.

There is no point in spending your next life toiling in a dead end job, living in a hovel, friendless, ridiculed, scoffed at, discarded, ignored, struggling to scrape together enough for a decent funeral, that nobody will attend. You tried that in this life, and look how miserable it made you.

Remember our motto, "Don't let your next life suck as much as this one!"

Reincarnations Control, Inc. a division of Kraft Food.