Getting Rich, Explained.

In the digital world of the 21st century adjustments need to be made. Old ways of helping each other through hard times are no longer valued. When was the last time your neighbors participated in a barn raising? How often have you had to help the guy at the end of the block drive his cattle to market? Speaking personally, I can’t remember the last time I had to help the townspeople repel Visigoths or Saracens at the town walls. These are the things that used to bring communities together. No we drift into the seduction of streaming television or the magic of short videos on the internet.

Community might be the wrong word for the loose assemblies we live in today. It might be more accurate to call the knots of people that drive home from work, park in their garage, close all the doors, windows, and drapes, and relax in front of an electronic umbilical cords that keep us attached to the things we find important. We live in hundreds of tiny villages containing one to five people. Tiny, self contained municipalities scattered along the streets of our cities and towns. Our doorbells are the modern version of Pavlov’s bells. When it rings we run frantically to retrieve our dinner, packed neatly in disposable plastic. 

How do we help each other, what steps can we take to enrich the inhabitants of the tiny towns surrounding our little village?

We can give our neighbors, the sovereign citizens surrounding us, cryptocurrency. The perfect gift for the modern recluse. Buy enough for everybody in all the tiny, self contained hamlets surrounding your kingdom. We recommend putting them in Amazon boxes or packs to make sure they bring them inside. 

If you don’t understand bitcoin, that’s fine, nobody does. It’s a modern alchemy transforming small amounts of cash into dreams of untold, decadent wealth. It’s like the Powerball only everybody wins.

 

We, here at Life Explained, want to help you. We want to make it easy for you to spread the joy. 

Introducing the LifeExplained Forever Coin.© A beautiful, hand crafted monetary unit suitable for framing. Not only is it attractive, its value increases exponentially with every breath. Soon you and the people, whose names you don’t know, will be raking in money so fast your arms will begin to ache, and your house will be too full to carry in an order of beef lo mien, with a side of crab rangoons.

 

Here’s the secret, and what a secret it is, when you buy some, the value goes up. When you buy more, the value climbs higher, when you buy all you can afford the money will start pouring in. You can never have enough, even though a little is more than enough. 

If you order now, we’ll throw in a LifeExplained Bit Coin Wallet, like your grandfather, or your dad, depending on how old you are, used to carry. A perfect companion for your LifeExplained Forever Coin.©

Act fast, or wallow in regret, it’s up to you.

Perfect Call, Jim

There is a disturbing trend on televised college football games. More than just one, really, but for today we are going to ignore the win at all costs, including the millions paid to coaches, the gaudy excess of modern stadiums, the shameless, underhanded ways schools violate NCAA rules, the sickening pandering of the press and officials toward the elite among the sport, the ridiculous amount of time spent training children to win, no matter what. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the ridiculous way coaching contracts are written. These people are hired, paid millions, adored, praised, lavished with gifts to win games. And then when they don’t win enough games schools are forced to either fire them and pay the remainder of the contract or pretend they are there to promote education and citizenship and manufacture some artificial outrage to fire them for “lack of institutional control.”  When was the last time a guy coming off a championship season got the axe for “lack of institutional control.” Give me a break...

Well, we might not ignore them completely.

What I am here to talk about today is the instant replay official who shows up on the screen to discuss the calls being viewed by the instant replay official who is off screen and working hard to make the right call. 

What really bothers me is the way he agrees completely with whatever call was made. I understand the difficulties faced by officials, referees, umpires, trying to make the right decision in a violent, fast paced game. And I assume most times they get it right, and when they don’t they are only human, the reason they instituted the instant replay review.

Most times they probably get that right, and if they don’t, well they are only human. And, then they go to the official replay official and he always says “well, they sure got that one right.” And then he will explain why, and how, and what, and everybody will pat each other on the back. One more face on the television telling me how everything is working perfectly. According to plan. No mistakes. 

And we can all sleep easy. You can thank them later.

Good news, no great news, maybe

All right, I have taken the leap, right from edge of sanity into the smoldering morass of electronic lunacy. I have walked to the edge of common sense and leaped, willingly into the desperate pit of "what have you done?"  I started my own webpage. I know, brash, foolish, possibly suicidal, but it didn't seem too bad.

+Jeremy Crow told me I should take the plunge, and so far he has given me solid advice on blogging, so what the heck, here it is. My Own Web Page. What Mr. Crow probably didn't realize was incompetence and potential failure have never even given me pause. So, now I have a website, and "a burgeoning online business" without ever making a small amount of progress towards any real knowledge or understanding.

I am selling blog posts. If you want a blog post, check out my web page, it says it all. Or at least it says something, and will say a lot more, as soon as I figure out how to add stuff. Which is a lot harder than typing a blog post about starting a website. And I have done both today, so you can trust me on this.

Right now we are celebrating our "grand opening" with a "BNGO" (buy none get one free) offer. That's right folks, you just tell us what you want to blog about and we will do the rest. With pictures and a video, and words, lots of words.

Check out our site, buy our stuff, and send us your money. This whole capitalism thing might not be such a bad idea after all.

Today's post was bought to you by Schmicks Market in Broken Bow*















And today's musical guest is the Michael Stanley Band singing "Let's Hear It." If you can listen to this and not be happier you and I have much different musical taste. We don't blame you, though.

*Not really, but it could be pretty cheaply, Mr. Schmick, with our website and blogging knowledge and your grocery store we could build an empire together.

Act now, or live in misery.

There are a number of things that successful, organized people have in common. Traits, and characteristics, and quirky little behaviors that make them unique and extraordinary.

 For one thing they like to use a lot of conjunctions, but they aren't crazy about using periods, because once the brilliance starts flowing they are reluctant to shut it off, and would prefer to let it flow to the masses, unhindered, and unencumbered,  and in all of the raw power and beauty they feel as they put fingers to keyboard.

They drink a lot of coffee, excuse me while I fill my mug, would anybody like a cup of coffee.  No, hmm, I see, not a coffee drinker.

One thing they like to do early on is get a sidekick.  Somebody smart, maybe a PhD, who doesn't mind taking a few risks, doing something a little dangerous, exposing themselves to danger, and difficulties, and adverse conditions with nothing more than a good idea and a comfortable pillow.

In short, if you want to be wildly successful, fantastically wealthy, and happy beyond your wildest dreams don't waste your time working hard, getting an education, and clawing your way to the top, that is for saps, and people who don't read blogs.

Just buy the "The Life Explained Keys to Fabulous Success for Dummies, or Idiots, it Doesn't Matter to Us."  For only $19.95 (20 degrees Celsius) you can be happy, healthy and rich beyond your wildest dreams.  Act now and we will throw in "The Guide To Gourmet Microwaving With Chef Bob, the Accountant."  Hurry, we only have a couple left.

Breaking News,

Gene Simmons, bass player for Kiss, has rushed to the defense of the wealthy.  Claiming inclusion into the long persecuted minority, Gene Simmons has taken a stand.  No longer will people malign and mistreat those who are unfortunate enough to be ridiculously wealthy.

Mr. Simmons claims that "50% of the US population pays no taxes at all."  A remarkable feat, given the breadth of taxes assessed by various branches of government.  In Ohio, for example, to better distribute the tax burden among the citizenry our Governor is working to reduce the state income tax, and increased the sales tax, and imposing the tax on services, which were previously exempt.  Try to get out of that tax, you filthy 50%, we have your number.  And it is 5.75%, on almost everything, including haircuts, and legal advice.

However, Mr. Simmons would like it known that the much maligned, and terribly put upon 1%, of which he claims to be a member in good standing, "provides all of the jobs for everybody else," and we should "try being nice to a rich person."  Indeed, Mr. Simmons.  Next time a rich person is unfortunate enough to find himself in line next to me at Taco Bell, I will buy him a Crunch Wrap Gordito, even if it is not happy hour, I will pay full price.  I hope it is Gene Simmons, imagine tacos with a wealthy bass player.  Facebook, here we come.

I would be willing to settle for Bill Gates, or Warren Buffett, but will pass on Donald Trump, his hair looks even worse than mine, and that might be more than a poor, Taco Bell worker, who owes so much to Gene Simmons, should have to endure.

If you see a wealthy person, give them a hug, and thank them, we owe them so much.

Luck be a youtube video tonight.

Life is difficult to understand, and often it seems the chances for success and opportunities for happiness are distributed disproportionately among jerks, that wealth and power are becoming the new version of royalty in the world, either you are born into it, or you learn to do without.  Scraping by on subsistence wages, and hoping to break even before you give up the ghost.  Or as Ian Anderson sang so prophetically;

"And you place your final burden

On your hard pressed next of kin;

Send the chamber pot back down the line

To be filled up again."

Occasionally, though, you find the pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow, the golden ticket, the goose that lays the golden egg.  If you are lucky.  Or, ingratiate your self with someone who might get wealthy, and powerful, which is the path I chose.

Fellow blogger, +Mike Raven who writes the very funny Blog of Thog has decided to pursue a career in performance art, and here is his latest masterpiece.

Wow, Is That Powerful, Or What?!?!

I am not sure how many views it takes to make "viral" but this video has at least enough to be "bacterial." which is a good start.  Plus, it is about Clash of Clans, a gaming sensation that is sweeping the nation, and a good thing, too.  This nation could use a good sweeping.

This guy is headed for the big time, and has asked me to manage his first world tour. 

Mike is not an old man, but, he is not too young (like a certain train wreck teen idol whose name we will not mention) he is what we call, in the entertainment biz, "just old enough to make me rich and not need a full time babysitter."

So, buy your tickets to the "Song of Thog."  Get your "Thog" tshirts, and baseball caps, and sun visors, and videos, and action figures, and bumper stickers, and CDs.  Plus, as an added bonus for you old timers, and as tribute to stars from days gone by, we are going to release the first album on 8 track tape, too.

In an unrelated question, which gated community for filthy rich entertainment moguls is rated highest?  I was just wondering.