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Showing posts with label staff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label staff. Show all posts

Monday, November 3, 2014

A public service announcement.

Tomorrow is election day, so get out there and vote.  It is your civic duty.  And remember a vote formy opponent is nothing more than a wasted vote.  It is obvious to anybody with with a pulse the other candidate in this race is one public records request from a lengthy, uncomfortable well deserved prison sentence.

Of course considering the voting record it is for the best, who votes to raise taxes, and debt, close schools, hospitals, police, and fire stations, libraries, museums and churches, just to build more parking lots, so they won't have to pay the parking meters.  Which they never did, running up huge parking ticket debt, that they have no intention of ever paying.

But, that is not the worst of it.  Look at the campaign staff, friends, family, crony's, the whole organization is built around nepotism, nothing but a bunch of clowns, and trained monkeys.  You just know they are all going to end up in the cabinet.  That is no way to run a government, I tell you.  Just a shame, really.




Anyway, vote, it is an honor, it is a privilege, it is a duty, it is kind of a hassle, and if you forget to vote stop by the Life Explained Top Secret headquarters and get one of these fancy "I VOTED TODAY" stickers so all of those hoity toity, fancy schmancy, hyper organized people with their fully functioning short term memory won't look down their snooty nose at you.  Jerks, anyway.

Remember, vote for Dr. Dawg, it is your only hope.  #youronlyhope




*At least, I meant to vote today.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Good tidings, kind of, a little.

I work in the distribution biz.  We distribute, mostly, designer driven, fashionable, somewhat useful home decor items.  In this business there is a wide margin of speculation, and no small amount of guesswork.  Sometimes too many things are ordered, and this can lead to some uncomfortable space considerations.  These become my problem, I am the "distribution center manager," a title that rests painfully on the brow.  You see, as a manager, I make a very good blogger, as a blogger, maybe not so much.

It was an accident, like most things in my life, that led to this job.  And, when I got here my first thought was "wow, these people are crazy, working all sorts of insane hours," and lifting and moving and carrying the weight of an entire industry in a small 4 story building.  But, I needed to stay a while, if my wife missed another vacation because I changed jobs it would have been war.  Eventually, they promoted me to manager, maybe because I was the tallest, that makes as much sense as anything.

For a long time the biggest problem was trying to use existing space to store increasing amounts of new stuff.  But, eventually, demand started creeping up on supply (see, that is a distribution reference, cool, huh?), it hasn't quite caught up, but supply is starting to sweat, and spends a lot of time looking over it's shoulder.

This means, in non distribution professional terms, that business is beginning to improve.  I have empirical evidence of this, too.  Check out the redundancy we have recently installed in our "Vitally Important Warehouse Dog Department!"  Never again will we be dogless while slaving and toiling to decorate the world. 
Our dog staff, here to serve you.

Anyway, here is where strong managerial skills are requisite.  Things coming in, going out, and being altered in between, taking big ones (full boxes of stuff) and making them into little ones (smaller boxes with a lot of different stuff).  A steady hand, a gentle voice, and a firm but fair demeanor is vital.

They have me instead.  I fall apart so quickly there are shrapnel injuries, and first aid is way beyond my abilities.  Band aid?  They are over there, employee disciplinary forms, please grab one of each.  After all, blood is filled with pathogens, and who knows where these people have been.  Please schedule your injuries during my lunch break, and it would be better if they could happen at home, I will be on vacation in July, can you wait?

An associate called in and said she couldn't work for a couple of days, she was sick.

"Dammit, I mean, are you sure?"  I asked sympathetically, as sympathetically as possible when thinking, "now, I am stuck doing her stuff."

"I went to the doctor, he said I have an acute, viral infection, and needed to take a couple of days off."  She said, a little angry, she has always been kind of a baby.

"What's your doctor's number, I will see if I can get you a reprieve."  Always the helper.

"You're not calling my doctor, Tim.  I will see you when I feel better."  Some people just don't want to be helped.

"OK, I hope you get to feeling better, by tomorrow." The power of persuasion, that is management 101 right there, my friend.  I am kind of getting the hang of this.