A new choice for Election 2016

Recently there was some online conversation suggesting that I, Tim, the founder of Life Explained, would make a viable third party candidate for president. In fact, we went even further and decided I would make a good president, maybe even a great president.

So, vote for me and the drinks are free. We could take the nation to new places, provided we can get Canada and Mexico to cooperate.

Having researched the problems facing this country it is clear that almost all of them could be solved with the liberal application of cash. Money is the key.

Vote Early and Vote Often.

Most presidents leave office with a tidy little nest egg, or at least some pocket money, and then they get filthy rich giving lectures, making appearances, shaking hands, and being the ex-president. It is one of the highest paying jobs out there.

As leader of the free world you meet a lot of people with a serious supply of cash. Huge piles of money, and after you retire you can ask them for some of it. "I will speak to your board of directors for an obscene amount of moolah." And they will write you a check. It is a beautiful system.

Since I am not really interested in being all that rich (as long as I can pay my bills and afford an
occasional new app I am happy) I will negotiate a deal with all of those well moneyed people to give the government the money now and I will give the speeches later. Using this Future Applied Money Earnings (FAME) I will balance the budget.

Not only will I balance the budget, I will increase military spending, cut taxes to nothing, improve subsidies for the poor and needy. Improve the infrastructure, schools, hospitals, and libraries. And I will have enough left over to buy the first round.

I will send some coin to the Islamic state and when they find out how nice it is to be wealthy they will come around to our way of thinking. Capitalism is a lot more attractive to people with money.

So, the choice is clear, the old way of thinking, if you want to call it thinking, provided by the Clinton Empire, the bellicose, gaseous, raving of the Trumpster, or the calm, refreshing Life Explained approach. You decide, but don't be stupid about it.

Act now, cabinet level positions are filling fast.

A public service announcement.

Tomorrow is election day, so get out there and vote.  It is your civic duty.  And remember a vote formy opponent is nothing more than a wasted vote.  It is obvious to anybody with with a pulse the other candidate in this race is one public records request from a lengthy, uncomfortable well deserved prison sentence.

Of course considering the voting record it is for the best, who votes to raise taxes, and debt, close schools, hospitals, police, and fire stations, libraries, museums and churches, just to build more parking lots, so they won't have to pay the parking meters.  Which they never did, running up huge parking ticket debt, that they have no intention of ever paying.

But, that is not the worst of it.  Look at the campaign staff, friends, family, crony's, the whole organization is built around nepotism, nothing but a bunch of clowns, and trained monkeys.  You just know they are all going to end up in the cabinet.  That is no way to run a government, I tell you.  Just a shame, really.




Anyway, vote, it is an honor, it is a privilege, it is a duty, it is kind of a hassle, and if you forget to vote stop by the Life Explained Top Secret headquarters and get one of these fancy "I VOTED TODAY" stickers so all of those hoity toity, fancy schmancy, hyper organized people with their fully functioning short term memory won't look down their snooty nose at you.  Jerks, anyway.

Remember, vote for Dr. Dawg, it is your only hope.  #youronlyhope




*At least, I meant to vote today.