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Friday, April 26, 2013

Ode to Spring.

Spring is coming, pollen, allergens, hay fever, runny noses, watery itchy eyes, lawn treatments, yard work, mowers, edgers, trimmers, rakes, shovels, sweat, back breaking labor, torrential rain storms, flooding, and tornadoes.  But, that really isn't the bad part, the bad part is entering into what many experts call the "televised sports desert."

Soon the Stupendous Bowl will be over. Of course, we can not forget about the NFL draft, this year there is a rumor that some team is going to pick some guy who played football in college and pay him enough money to end the federal deficit. Hoping, against all odds, that he will not get hurt when some huge guy runs into him as fast and as hard as he can, or not be able to play at the level expected and turn into a huge waste of corporate cash.

Watching the NFL draft is similar to watch a city council meeting, without the excitement.  There is some pleasure, though, watching grown men, standing around at work, macho, manly and filled with testosterone, sounding like teenage girls, "I hope my team drafts that running back from Northern Arkansas, he is so dreamy.  Wouldn't that be a huge slice of wonderful!"

Oh, and the NBA playoffs, they start soon, or started recently, or have been going on for the last several years.  Recently, the NBA decided that people enjoyed playoff series more than regular season games, in an effort to squeeze every dime possible from their fans, they expanded the playoffs, (soon they are going to replace the regular season with a and use a reality televison style panel of judges to determine playoff seedings) now the post season lasts longer than Prohibition, and makes less sense.

There is another "sport," it is called hockey.  While most Americans have trouble enjoying hockey, a foreign sport with vaguely European origins, there is a rabid, vocal, group of hardcore, dedicated fans.  But, science is working feverishly on a cure.  When given the opportunity, please donate freely to this worthy cause.  We are all in this together.

What about baseball?  People have long said baseball is a thinking man's game.  That is probably true, baseball players certainly have plenty of time to think, standing out there, waiting for something, anything to happen.  Maybe they are thinking what an average little league player thinks while standing, way out there in the vast, indifferent, alien landscape of the outfield.  "Please, God, don't let them hit it to me!  Anywhere but here."  Remember the old saying, "there are no atheists in the outfield."  True, so true.

So, what is the point of all this, we have sadly run out of time today.  Please tune in next week when we discuss the similarities between Coach Rick Pitino and your dependable, steady, resolute blogger, and why he should provide free tickets to a couple of Louisville Cardinal basketball games next season.