|Rather Large Pink Shoe, so much better for stomping the|
masses into obedience.
|World Domination Barbie|
Disturbingly, our research led us to proof that Barbie didn't just begin her dreams of world conquest with the Baby Boomers of 20th century America. There are archived documents proving Viking Barbie led groups of Norse warriors to trample all over Britain as far back as 787 AD. Beginning in the Isle of Portland in Dorset, these Northmen, led by the ruthless, plastic doll, trampled the area of the Northumbrians, and managed to invade Iona, not once, but repeatedly. Of course, with failure came blame, and Barbie some how managed to pin the fiasco on Hakon Hakonarson, after the fall of Shetland and Orkney in mid 1400's. A fascinating bit of history, but too lengthy for our purposes. For the first time, but not the last Barbie came close to controlling the known world.
|"Would you care for a|
moist towelette, sir?"
|Our intrepid reporter in Barbieville,|