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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Ok, here's the deal, the App Store is giving away a $10,000.00 dollar gift card to the lucky person who downloads the 50 billionth app.  (I would type that out as a number, but have no idea how many zeroes to use).  And, I intend to win that gift card!

Since space is always limited it is vital to pick the correct app.  This is further assisted by my ability to see the "big picture."  A rare blessing that has haunted me for many years, always weighing the options, cautiously deciding on the best course of action.  For example, when we go out to eat deciding on an entree is torture.  Will it be the bacon cheeseburger, or the Swiss mushroom burger, maybe the buffalo chicken wings, or the shrimp scampi, hey they have BLT's, and Ruebens.  Of course, no matter how good the meal is I am always convinced something else would have been better.  To combat this, I have come up with an ingenious plan to get the right app, and get enough of them that I will slide in at the right second, and win that gift card.  Plus, with my fool proof method to evaluate apps and their worthiness the $10,000.00 will be put to optimal use.

First, decide on a category, today's focus is productivity.  Everybody wants to be productive, and if it is done while goofing around with an app, well, that is called "golden."  Next, is this "productivity" going to revolve around numbers, or letters, or both?  We will go with letters, as numbers are somewhat confusing, and, inflexible, and apps that use numbers also use terms like "parameters," and "exponents," "operators," and "standard deviation," then you need to decide on "the order of operation," and I am way too busy to explain all of that stuff today.

So, we are going to find the right app that uses words to be productive, now we are getting somewhere.  Do we want something to "process words," like a note taking and storage app (sentences, and paragraphs, that's where it's at) or something involving lists.  Of course, lists are kind of dull, (sorry, Susan, we call them like we see them) and require planning, follow through, and attention to detail.  Who could possibly be productive with that kind of pressure!?!?!?

Ok, we want an app to help us be productive, something that does not involve numbers, one that will assist us in writing and keeping notes.  Now, we are getting somewhere.  It needs to be available for the iPad and the iPhone, so that eliminates several.  Separating the wheat from the chaff now.

There are certain features it needs to have, one of those is what is commonly called "cloud storage."  This is important, because with cloud storage you have another password that you can forget, but, once they email you a link to reset your password you can view and edit your notes from any device that has internet access.  Further, the cloud storage needs to be free.  To paraphrase my friend Bil, paying for "cloud storage" is for suckers.  Now we are narrowing it down a bit.

Any decent note taking and note keeping app needs to have some picture manipulation features.  A picture is worth a thousand words, but a picture that has been properly manipulated anddigitally enhanced can bring in at least 1275 and maybe up up to 1515 words in the right market.  It feels like we are closing in now, doesn't it?

Next you need to look at the ratings.  The last thing anybody needs is to try to write a decent paragraph with several forms of punctuation, and a lot of high falutin metaphor, and fancy modifiers with a "dog app that crashes a lot" and uses a "clunky interface," so it will need to be in the low to mid 4 star range.  We are not animals, after all.  They are falling by the roadside faster than we can count now.  I am really starting to feel good about this.

Of course, it has to be 99 cents, or less.  Who is going to spend three dollars for something that fits on a device that fits in a pocket, who do they think they are dealing with, Big Daddy Money Bags?  C'mon, get real.  My friends, this is called making progress, we should have an answer soon.

It is time to recap.

You know what, games are pretty cool, who doesn't enjoy a good game.