Today's home improvement tip; How to fix that annoying squeaky floor. You know the one that wakes everybody up, when you are trying to sneak into the kitchen for a little snack, around 2:00 in the morning. Yeah, that would be great if you got rid of that.
Next, you will need to go down into the the crawl space. You know that wooden door that looks like it is laying at a funny angle a stack of scrap wood on the side of the house? That is the crawl space opening. Just open it, come on open it, it is not that heavy. There you go, good job!
Holy crap, look at the size of that spider web, man I would hate to see the thing that spun that. Isthat a hissing sound, mixed with a little eerie kind of chirping? I definitely smell decay and rot coming from down there, you know someone said something about all of the squirrels in the neighborhood vanishing.