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Friday, December 20, 2013

Not so fast.

Today we were going to discuss the "War on Christmas."  Either a terrible subversive plot to overthrow western civilization, destroying our cherished way of life and our system of retail addiction, and substinence, or a completely fabricated myth to garner viewers, rouse rabble, and increase the general discomfort of almost everyone with a television.  And, it was going to be a great post, too, filled with thoughtful commentary, and analysis.  Plus, it would have some jaw dropping bomb shells that would turn the whole argument upside down, inside out, and kind of backwards and sideways at the same time, as soon as I made them up.  

However, while I was "researching" the "facts" on this critical topic I came across a story about "sepak tekraw.  A sport that is popular in Southern Asia, and Canada (those crazy Canadians), and it is kind of like a cross between soccer (or futbol) and volleyball (or volleyball).  Kind of a kick volleyball, it is like tennis with your feet, or kickball badminton, or maybe... well, it looks hellishly difficult, let's leave it at that.

It is a fast paced game of endurance, coordination, and speed, I think.  But, it is hard to be sure, because the internet page I read was translated, from Japanese, by software.  Which is really kind of an amazing thing when you think about it, but it does make for some unusual sentences. 

You see, no matter how smart, and able, software has become it lacks the understanding of subtlety and nuance.  Sure, it can tell the difference between "your," and "you're," but it doesn't understand why "hey, is that a non-finite verb form functioning as a noun, or are you just happy to see me?"  See, while I have tears running down my face from laughter, my computer sits stony faced and silent.  

Back to the point, sepak takraw looks hard, and reading about it is not easy.  Here is the definition of a serve, "the player who kicks a serve surely puts a leg (shaft foot) in the service circle, and takes a toss from the player who went into the quoter circle (the semicircle of a radius 90 cm done around the contact point of the center line and the sideline), and kicks the ball.  When a game bigins by one serve, a ball can be touched by the attack of one time to three times. You can use a head, a back, legs, and anywhere except for the arm from the shoulder to the point of the finger."

But, the thing that really caught my eye about the sport was almost every picture looks like one player is trying to kick the other player in the face without touching an electric fence.  There was nothing in the rules about electricity, but, I haven't read them all yet.

"Please, accept this little token gift of a face full of shoe lace as a reward
 for a wonderful, intense competition."

Well, I am certainly glad we got that cleared up, tune in next week when we answer the age old question "red wine or white wine, which is appropriate for pancakes?"