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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Today's Horoscope,

Bought to you by Dr. Dawg.  Professor of Scientific Astrology.

 Good Horoscopes 'r Us
 If you were born today you are a Scorpio, prone to good moods, and quick, contagious smiles.  Today, through no fault of your own, several ancient spirits, once thought the stuff of myth, and childhood stories will be awakened, and through cruel, terrible coincidence will descend on your puny, insignificant department.  Where they will feast on the flesh of your associates, lay waste to your carefully controlled inventory system, and turn your once pristine office space into a shrine of sadistic, terrible sacrifice.  You will be forced to choose a life or humiliating , indentured servitude, or a slow, painful, ignominious death.  Of course, this will ruin your year end performance evaluation, and cost you any chance at a raise or promotion.

Your lucky number today is 7, your color is green, and you will run into someone who used to be special.  

Don't forget to check out our special offer on palm readings, and numerology.  Offer not good for people born today.