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Sunday, February 2, 2014

It was nice while it lasted.

Recently we found a new portal to a different dimension.  It was opened, completely by accident, when the receptionist, here at Life Explained, pressed the button to open the front door, (after he spoke with the person through the intercom, it was just an employee who forgot her security card) which is a button on his computer keyboard, and posted a status update on Facebook, which was a copy of tweet he read, while answering his smart phone, which was plugged in to his computer, charging and updating, all at the same time.  It seems so much duplex communication created a rift in the delicate fabric of reality.

It was pretty cool, but no one was sure what to do, a huge swirling opening in the reception area.  We all stood around, looking at this thing, trying to make a decision.  Should somebody walk through, stick their hand through, maybe a trash can, or that annoying person from the legal department, I think his name is Bob.  

Bob, from sales, threw his business card into the "opening" and in seconds his phone rang, and someone from other dimension ordered two hundred thousand units of the most expensive books in stock, and added a huge gratuity, just to be nice.  There was a problem with an inter dimensional line of credit, but, for that kind of order, our accounting people can be pretty creative.

As Bob, from accounting,  was setting up the inter-dimensional wire of funds, he got an email offering him a job, doubling his salary, setting up a network for the "people" on "the Other Side" of the portal.  It seems they had a lot of trouble finding decent consumer convenience items, and what they could find were overpriced, and shoddily constructed.

A scream of delight signaled, sent people rushing to the R&D department where the intern was dancing around, a smile of joy on her face, talking excitedly about the text message from "the Other Side," offering to buy her latest painting.  The offer was so generous she could actually quit, and go to an art and design college of some renown. 

Soon, people were scrambling to get close enough to toss a card, a post it note, cocktail napkin,
Doberman Setter
anything that would hold a hastily concocted, quickly scribbled business proposal, an offer of service,  or a fantastically embellished resume.

Before long people were pushing, shoving, kicking, biting, anything to get close enough to toss their hopes into the spiraling, unusual wishing well.  It got so bad we had to post a security guard.

Sadly, when Bob, from building started the microwave (to warm his hollandaise sauce) and the toaster oven (to Benedict his eggs, if that is proper verb), he threw the breaker, and when he went to reset it, he accidentally shut off the power to the whole building.

The vortex shut down, without a sound.  All of the notes were gone, though, and occasionally someone will get a phone call, or email, from "the Other Side," just saying hello.