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Monday, March 31, 2014

Join Now, before we picket you.

Buoyed by the success of the Northwestern Wildcat football team to petition for, and be allowed membership in, a union, this weekend I formed my own union.  It is small, only 4 members so far, just guys who need a break, but as full time participants in life we feel that often we are asked to perform work that is too difficult, and dangerous, or tedious, and demeaning, or complicated, and demanding.  Well, things are about to change.

I have just finished drawing up the bylaws, and with no formal training in bylaw drawing, and a lack of crayons and colored pencils they are a little rough, but whatever is lacking in artistic sophistication is more than compensated for by the overwhelming willingness of the members to abide by the decisions of the union leadership.  Together we are the irresistible force and the immovable object, ready to test the limits of our ability to endure overwhelming hardship, and crushing odds...  That part of the bylaws are going to need some work.

But, we are standing together, through thick and thin.

We are working out the dues right now, and that is kind of important.  But, we are standing together, more or less, except for the cheapskates, who want to get by on almost nothing.  Plus, the division of responsibility is burdensome for those of us at the top, right now the treasurer is not talking to the sergeant at arms, it is kind of childish.  The president thinks the vice president stole his Swiss Army Knife, complete with water filtration device, and flash light, it was nice.  And nobody wants to make coffee, they leave a tiny little bit, just so they don't have to make a fresh pot.  Man, that really irks me.  But, we are united, strong, indivisible.

Plus, there is this whole meeting schedule, nobody wants to meet on Tuesday, because that is when America's Got A Voice And Is Not Afraid To Use It is on.  Wednesday doesn't work for Tom, he has hot yoga, and Thursday is out for Bob, bowling night.  Monday is, well just Monday, Friday is family time, so there is going to be some difficulties.  But, once we get this worked out, we are rolling, together.

We stand united, but not too close, until Brent buys some better clothes, nobody wants to be seen next to a guy wearing plaid so gaudy it would shame a golfer.  But, together we are going to change things.  We are looking for new members, if you are interested, let us know, at Life Explained Local One, Chapter One, A New Beginning.  Dues are cheap, so far, and we are here to help you, depending on what you want, as long as it not Tuesday.