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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Your Guide to Technology.

With our cable television we received a DVR (Digital Video Recorder).  A revolutionary device that records the things we want to watch while we are watching something else we want to watch.  Proving the theory that there is always "something good" on TV, not only something good, but often two things that have earned the "something good" classification, at least from my family.  After recording it we are free to watch it whenever we like, as often as we like, and we can skip the boring parts, and get right to the scene where (please, feel free to use your imagination and insert your favorite bit of any show you might record, and watch repeatedly here).

However, the real magic in this heaven sent electronic marvel is the ability to pause, rewind and fast forward "live television" (technically, it does not have to be live television, which is defined as "a television production broadcast in real time" and pausing it and rewinding, or fast forwarding through portions would ruin the spontaneity the producers hoped to achieve using "live television") so you can pause the program you are watching and grab a handful of corn chips, and some salsa, and maybe some cookies and milk, or crackers, cheese, and a drink, or a sandwich, potato chips and some dip, or a candy bar, and iced tea, or..., you get the idea.

Hindsight is important, but imagine being able to view the present with that same air of smug comfort and confidence that comes when looking at the past.  That level of "man, that was some high point, for me, I really nailed it."  That is where the true value of manipulating "live television" lies.

I take a relatively busy freeway to work each morning, and an accident can really throw a wrench in the gears of commuting.  Knowing there is a tie up can really save time.  Watching the local traffic report is helpful, I recommend it, in fact, but sometimes an accident will happen after I leave and before I get to work.  If only there were a way to check the traffic report for the future, that would be great.

Thanks to the electronic voodoo provided by the good folks at (I'm not sure who manufactured the DVR that was provided by our cable company, and I am not too happy with our cable company so I am not going to mention their name, until they meet all (or at least the reasonable portion) of my demands) I can fast forward into the future and make sure the sailing is smooth all the way to work.  Ain't technology grand?

One morning the traffic report showed my car in a small accident, nothing too serious, just a wrinkled fender,
and probably a broken head light, so I took a different route.  I thought that was so smart.  Unfortunately it opened a tear in the time space continuum and an army of demons poured out and destroyed most of area between the Fifth Avenue curve, and the Leonard Ave. exit before Doctor Dawg and I managed to repel them and close the rift.

It was real drain on the city budget, and tied up most of the road repair budget for the next several years, and several city council members and community leaders were really upset.  There are things that need to be worked out, obviously.  All in all, though, I am a big fan of this high tech stuff.  You should get some.