Bargain shopping at outlet malls has many benefits. There is the saving, of course, and often the variety is much more significant, with so many stores crammed into such a small space it is easy to compare brands with just a short stroll. Exercise, though, is probably the greatest reward.
Walking from store to store, and back again is so healthy. Throw in a few bags of clothes, or shoes, and soon there is a strength training component, as well (I hope my doctor is reading this, see I am getting some exercise, Dr. Critical). Plus, you add a few steps walking around the families who stop to have a little reunion in the middle of the sidewalk. All of the joy shared in the walkway, all of the laughter, all of the love, flowering right in the middle of that narrow avenue, it almost brings a tear to your eye.
Stalking the aisles of the women's clothing stores is where things get intense, though. You need to be mobile in those places. It is so much more difficult to hit a moving target. Plus, you need to pay attention to your surroundings, there is danger everywhere. It keeps the heart rate up there, the constant danger, and terror.
Occasionally you will need to stop to rest, and relieve the cramps that develop in the legs from the constant circling. This is ok, but don't feel safe, not for a second. I made that mistake, and was gazing at the spots on the carpet from the poor man that was foolish enough to rest too long. Oh, they do a good job cleaning the remains of the poor soul, but if you look carefully enough you can find the reminders. When I looked up, they were closing in, oh, they were pretending to look at the shirts, and shorts, and scarves, jewelry, blazers, all of the apparel women need to for one simple outfit.
But, I heard "oh, isn't this a fun tshirt, she will just love it," from a little too close, and with a little too much emphasis on "fun." I looked up and saw them closing in on three sides, eyes blazing, hands reaching into purses for nail files, knitting needles, eyebrow tweezers, one of them a machete with several x's burnt into the scarred, scratched blade. Fortunately, for me anyway, they had sprung the ambush too soon, and I managed to dart out between the capri pants, in airy spring pastels, and the and the light sweaters, perfect for work or casual wear.
Exercise is so important, life is short enough the way it is, without letting sloth, and inactivity, or aggressive, hostile women shoppers end it prematurely. And if your going to add a few years onto the end of your life, you will need some extra dollars, so the outlet mall is the place to go. As long as you are careful.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Shopping Your Way to a Happy Retirement
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.