Since Memorial Day is so close and the week has been so hectic we, here at Life Explained, have decided it would be in the best interest of all of humanity cancel Thursday this week.
Sure, many of the Geochronologists felt it would be much better to just postpone Thursday until next week, feeling that eliminating a whole twenty four hour cycle could have catastrophic effects, possibly destroying the frail fabric of space time. They warned that it could cause such rifts in our universe that it could shatter worlds, and "tear asunder the universe to such a point that the entire history of all that ever was would be wiped clean, and we would have rebooted time itself."
Maybe, and that could be bad, but Friday, and a three day weekend would be here one day earlier and that is worth a roll of the dice.
Of course, they reminded us of that incident when we traveled back in time to add another spoonful of coffee grounds to the pot we had just brewed, it was so weak it was practically undrinkable. They were all worried about toying with events that had already happened. Sure, the kitchen was destroyed by the monster that sprung from the anomaly in the coffee container from having beans taken so abruptly "out of time sequence," but, nobody died, sure some people are still missing, but nobody even remembers their names anymore. Yes, the monster is still loose, and that might be a problem, but the kitchen is remodeled, better than ever, and that coffee was fantastic.
Obviously, this is not without risk, and we need to remember the consequences, but, Friday only comes once a week, and it always seems to be so slow in arriving. And, three day weekends are so rare, and precious that a little risk is worth the reward. If it works, we will see you tomorrow, on Friday, if not, well it has been fun, and we are sorry we brought such an abrupt end to all of creation.
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