It is time, maybe past time, it may be long overdue, but, I have decided to have a mid life crisis. There should be some guidelines, some government agency to send you an email, "hey, Tim, your midlife crisis is due, and you should start looking at sports cars, maybe schedule some flying lessons, or sky diving." That way a person would know, definitively, when to start.
When you hit a certain age or level of maturity, or point where your financial responsibilities are not so crushing, demanding that you have little extra coin to kick around, they would send you a packet with some suggestions, possibly a decision tree or a Markov Chain to help. "If you live in the suburbs, and drive a sedan, and have two sons then consider trying to baseball camp with the Pirates."
Playing baseball with a bunch of pirates would be fun. Drinking Jamaican rum, and plundering booty from the Reds, and the Nationals, just think, Alex Rodriguez walking the plank, oh the joy. But, I am not really a big baseball fan, even if it includes pirates. Besides, people get hurt running bases, and those grounders can take a nasty hop, pow, right in the mush. No thanks.
"If you are not a baseball fan, try a motorcycle." There is a mid life crisis staple, a motorcycle, a leather jacket, a wallet on a chain and the open road. Man, aging has never been more appealing. Best to think this through, though. I don't want one of those motor cycles that are on two wheels, and fall over so easy. Some of them are pretty darned heavy, and just holding them up at the street light can be a problem. Maybe one of those outlaw biker trikes, but they are difficult to find, and expensive. There is a new kind of motor cycle, with two wheels in the front, maybe that would work out, but they look a little silly. How about a sidecar, that would be sweet, but it will make me look lonely because I know my wife will not climb in there and trust her life to my riding skills, maybe a motor cycle is not the answer.
I think, maybe I will try my hand at writing the great, American novel. Or, the mediocre, American novel, or even the barely adequate, American novel. If I do it on a computer I will not even have to worry about paper cuts.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Now, that is a plan.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.