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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

World Cup Forgiveness, or The Search for A Decent Snack.

The World Cup is probably the most widely anticipated sporting event in the world.  According to FIFA at least 1 billion people tuned in for part of the 2010 World Cup, (and since I didn't watch any of that tournament they can safely estimate at least 1 billion and 1 for this year).  It is discussed, and dissected, and argued about from Algeria to Zaire, from Australia to Yugoslavia, it is truly a world event.

America is kind of late the scene, we are still learning, and words like match, and pitch, and mark are still being translated from the original American English to the new Futbol Friendly American English.  But, the progress is undeniable.  And the fact that America made it to the round of 16 (we would like to call it the "Sweet 16," if the rest of the world does not mind, it is dear to our hearts) is ample evidence that we are starting to take "the beautiful game" a little more seriously.

We lost to Belgium, and that is unfortunate, losing is never fun.  Nationalistic fervor can have unfortunate ramifications, though.  We would, as a sports loving nation, be wise to consider the consequences of any rash, irresponsible behavior.

First, Belgian ale is like the nectar of the gods.  It is so smooth and delightful, crisp, refreshing, and delicious.  Even the American brewed varieties are fantastic.  But, they pale in comparison to those imported from Belgium.  Pour a Belgian ale in a frosted glass, and top it with an orange slice, and you will find a moment of bliss too powerful to be endured, friends.

Further, a loyal reader and friend of Life Explained reports that Belgium is where French Fries were invented, and that some hungry American just stumbled upon them one day and since the server was speaking French he assumed it was France, thus the misnomer.  She is well traveled, and educated, and talks a lot about food, so we find no reason to doubt her.  Plus, she assures us that Belgian French Fries are "the most amazing fries you could ever hope to eat."  Those must be exceptional fries, indeed.

Most importantly, everybody loves Belgian waffles, topped with strawberries, whipped cream, and confectioners sugar, or blueberries, whipped cream, and confectioners sugar, or real butter, and maple syrup, or ice cream, and chocolate syrup with some caramel drizzled over the whole thing.  They are the food version of a Swiss Army Knife, everything to everybody.  Good for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and desert, all in one golden brown, fluffy package.  It is very difficult to be angry over a little soccer game with a country that has given us such a versatile delicacy.

So, enjoy your victory, Belgium, and move on the heights of Futbol glory, knowing that we here at Life Explained are hoping, sincerely, you take home the Cup.  You have given so much, and asked for so little.