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Saturday, September 6, 2014

Curse you, hackers.

We, here at Life Explained, are embarrassed to report that one of our Cloud accounts has been hacked, and there were numerous compromising photos and videos stolen and leaked to various unscrupulous media outlets.  Of course, the truly embarrassing part was when all of the photos and videos were returned, unused.

It seems no one is interested in a group of middle aged scientists, engineers, and their assistants no matter how provocative.  Even the video taken in the kitchen after the "Great Chocolate Cake" fiasco.  It is a big mistake to allow a bunch of sheltered, fiber loving, low carb, low sugar, healthy eaters to indulge in big cups of strong coffee and large slabs of birthday cake with delicious, sugary icing layered in inches.

For about forty five minutes it was like the wild west in there.  Scientists bickering about the best way to slice a cake, wrestling over the who got part of the cake with the frosting flowers, (they had precisely calculated how much more frosting was in one rose) threatening each other with the jagged ends of broken laboratory beakers, bawdy jokes involving interns and the theory of relativity.  Then came the crash.  They dropped like lead bricks, all over the kitchen, draped over chairs, laying on tables, faces buried on plates that had been licked clean.   After that we started spiking the water supply with small amounts of sugar to build up some tolerance.

Not a real football player, or coach
In unrelated news, we, here at Life Explained, are still seeking a celebrity spokesperson, having been snubbed by our first two choices, we are now going to approach Oklahoma State Football Coach, and former quarterback, Mike Gundy.  A man who is comfortable in front of a microphone, and in front of a large crowd.  We were thinking about asking the Duke basketball coach, but we have no idea how to spell his last name.