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Friday, September 5, 2014

Help Wanted, Little Work, Less Pay.

Business has really been picking up, and things are looking very bright, there is a palpable buzz, we have really turned a corner.  Since all of this success is taking so much of our time, we, here at Life Explained, have decided it is time to take the next step, time to take the plunge, time to reach a little higher, spread our wings just a bit further, time to quit messing around, grab the brass ring, and way too many other metaphors to list individually, however if you have a favorite and would like to see it used in a future blog post, please email us at tweettweetjohn@yahoo.com, and we will work it into a future installment.  Where were we, oh yes, we have decided to make use of a celebrity endorser.

Oh, sure, there are risks.  Suppose the celebrity endorser robs a bank, or steals a car, or indulges in an interstate crime spree, leaving a trail of destruction, despair and misery across the country, what then?  Well, any publicity is good publicity, right?  We don't mind a little controversy here at Life Explained, we welcome people who are unafraid to take a few risks, and kick over a few apple carts.  Of course, we don't really condone kicking over apple carts, mind you, that is a little excessive, and wasteful.  We read that a daily serving of fruit will reduce the risk of heart attack by 40%, and that is significant, and nobody wants to eat apples from a cart that has been kicked over, they are bruised, and dirty, and have little bits of gravel stuck in the...  Well, that is not important right now.

Paid celebrity endorser, not an actual
reader of this blog.
The United States Treasury (or whoever decides whose picture gets to be on money) only uses people who have been dead long enough that their reputation should remain untainted.  We considered that approach, but a decent celebrity endorser is difficult enough to find.  Looking for a suitable celebrity endorser long ago deceased is too time consuming and expensive to justify, we are on a budget, you know.  Besides, we like to think we are pretty "hip," and "with it," and needed someone who reflects our "cool" persona, and that sort of dictates somebody who has not been deceased for a couple of decades.

So, we are approaching several "A List" celebrities, including 10TV meteorologist Mike Davis, and a Professor of Anthropology at a well known, prestigious university, offering them the position.  But, just in case those fall through, and you are a celebrity, or know a celebrity, who might be interested, and is willing to endorse, for free (that part is very important, our money goes to pure scientific research, pizza, and non alcohol drink products) please email us Tweettweetjohn@yahoo.com.