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Monday, September 1, 2014

Shopping, the Most Important Virtue.

Labor Day, the unofficial kick off of the Christmas Shopping Season.  Now is not the solstice of the season, but do not let that delay you.   Up quickly, shower, and you're off, shopping, fueling the great economic engine that runs this world.  Labor Day Sale, we think not, this is your first real Holiday Gift Sale, and it is your responsibility to take advantage.

When purchases are made it adds to the GDP, Gross Domestic Product, an important measure of how much money is spent.  Excessive spending used to be very unfashionable, and people would say things like, "look at how much that poor rube is spending, that is so gross."  Lately, though it has become very chic to practice blatant consumerism, and you want to be considered hip and with it, don't you?

Shopping can have many health benefits, as well.  Saturday, at the Bass Outlet Store in the Tanger Outlet Mall, they were having a sale on shoes, buy one get two free.  And the fight was on.  It was an intense workout, akin to boxing, or mixed martial arts.  Marauding shoppers roamed the narrow aisles running between the racks of bargain priced shoes. People were like animals, using baby strollers to plow through shoppers, elbowing, shoving, pushing, and scrambling for that perfect pair of casual, rugged looking shoes.  Shouting "excuse me" over their shoulders to the fallen, scrambling, wounded mass of humanity left in the wake.

Carrying shoes boxes in combinations of three, six, nine or twelve up to the front of the store, to stand humbly in line, sweat staining their clothing, waiting for the next available cashier.  Boxes towering above their heads, weaving, and waving back and forth hypnotically.  "Was anyone helping you?" the cashier asked.  "Well, that blond woman in the blood stained grey sweater stitched up my forearm after that nice looking older lady smashed me to the floor with her walker."

So, don't hesitate, do a quick carboload, pancakes are a good choice, maybe some bacon for protein, hydrate well, coffee (or Coca Cola, if you are so inclined, anything caffeinated) is always a good choice, grab the first aid kit and the industrial strength Discover card, and go grab some stuff, you know you want to.