Labor Day, the unofficial kick off of the Christmas Shopping Season. Now is not the solstice of the season, but do not let that delay you. Up quickly, shower, and you're off, shopping, fueling the great economic engine that runs this world. Labor Day Sale, we think not, this is your first real Holiday Gift Sale, and it is your responsibility to take advantage.
When purchases are made it adds to the GDP, Gross Domestic Product, an important measure of how much money is spent. Excessive spending used to be very unfashionable, and people would say things like, "look at how much that poor rube is spending, that is so gross." Lately, though it has become very chic to practice blatant consumerism, and you want to be considered hip and with it, don't you?
Shopping can have many health benefits, as well. Saturday, at the Bass Outlet Store in the Tanger Outlet Mall, they were having a sale on shoes, buy one get two free. And the fight was on. It was an intense workout, akin to boxing, or mixed martial arts. Marauding shoppers roamed the narrow aisles running between the racks of bargain priced shoes. People were like animals, using baby strollers to plow through shoppers, elbowing, shoving, pushing, and scrambling for that perfect pair of casual, rugged looking shoes. Shouting "excuse me" over their shoulders to the fallen, scrambling, wounded mass of humanity left in the wake.
Carrying shoes boxes in combinations of three, six, nine or twelve up to the front of the store, to stand humbly in line, sweat staining their clothing, waiting for the next available cashier. Boxes towering above their heads, weaving, and waving back and forth hypnotically. "Was anyone helping you?" the cashier asked. "Well, that blond woman in the blood stained grey sweater stitched up my forearm after that nice looking older lady smashed me to the floor with her walker."
So, don't hesitate, do a quick carboload, pancakes are a good choice, maybe some bacon for protein, hydrate well, coffee (or Coca Cola, if you are so inclined, anything caffeinated) is always a good choice, grab the first aid kit and the industrial strength Discover card, and go grab some stuff, you know you want to.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Shopping, the Most Important Virtue.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.