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Monday, October 6, 2014

Selecting the proper after dinner wine.


Things got a little tense, and we had to call security.  It all started innocently enough, we were sitting in the kitchen, having some pizza and a few laughs.  It was really relaxed, and people were genuinely enjoying the camaraderie.  There is a special bond that develops between people who work so closely on something for so long, a unique brotherhood.  And, that was evident in the atmosphere after dinner.

We had worked so hard, and for such an extended period, battling monumental odds.  Finally we were able to transport matter across great distances  using kinetic motion energy (we had sent a box of generic brand tissues from the lab, to the bathroom, while not that far, it is well over 100 feet, and that is nothing to sneeze at, even if you have a box of tissues).  In layman's terms, we had "blasted" it from one place to another using a controlled burst of synthetic energy.

What makes this so remarkable, and so difficult is controlling the amount of energy so preciseley, that it doesn't damage the wall, and leaves the tissues intact when they reach the limit of the beam.  It would have really been a mess had it turned the box of tissues into confetti, and the custodian would have been really steamed.

He still hasn't gotten over the "nuclear microwave" hot dog monster who had sprayed everyone in the kitchen, and the kitchen with catsup, mustard and sweet pickle relish, before succumbing to massive myocardial infarction, turns out hot dogs really are bad for you, despite being so delicious.  Just as a cautionary note, don't ask him about the atomic hot dog monster, he might go nuclear.  Sorry, just a little scientist humor there.

Anyway, things were going well, a real celebratory aura, a spirit of accomplishment, and delight.  But, things turned sour quickly.  Once the chardonnay was gone, and they broke out the merlot we knew it was going to go bad.  You know the old saying "merlot then chardonnay, that's ok, chardonnay, then merlot, oh God, no."




There is nothing worse than a bunch of exuberant scientists all hopped up on a little of the red,
slamming down burgundy glasses full of merlot, it is an ugly sight, and it degenerates very quickly until they are nothing but a mob of angry, threatening gang members, in white lab coats.  Fortunately, they can't hold their merlot very well, either, and soon they were all slumped onto the tables sound asleep, wine glasses, and prescription eyeglasses laying everywhere.

Well, tomorrow is going to be a long, bad day around here.  I should get some sleep, and I don't want to be here when the custodian sees this.